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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1003)
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- August 2019
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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A new segment of life

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am

Im getting close; or closer; its working; the whole of the goal from many years ago; its kind of paying off a bit; Im in the right direction; many things are showing up; Im still a train wreck from the break downs; and as usual; the general normee-world does not understand at all; thats OK; Im surviving; Im slowly getting used to people again and interactions; its hard with CPTSD; its real real hard; scary; my nervous system does not want to go through what it went through in the past; it will protect me from damage; especially the war level damage that occurred from before; the stripping of my young life; torture; its that simple.
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My nervous system will not allow others to take my life as before.
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However, my not hiding in my room; Im out and about making things happen for me or making preparations happen for me to be around others in new social situations and its showing up around me.
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I write allot of stories about my new life; the one I claim in my writing is all ready here; and I thank the universe for that all the time. And Ill keep it up n up n up; until it shows up in front of me; the key is to believe. And to believe I must write stories; its called scripting; and I do allot of it; and visualization. more scripting these days.
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The key is to keep at it.
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The key is to keep going and going and going; more meditation, visualization and writing stories about my future as if I all ready have it; and keep it up; the idea is; write new stories about my life that dominate over the old ones; and their it is.
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My thoughts are thinking me; Im attempting to get my mind back in control where Im thinking my thoughts.
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Im still disturbed; but Im getting stronger in other areas; the areas where I had break downs are still affected; especially from CPTSD>
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More work ahead; Hm?.... Its like?...... Im digging trenches around an over flooding lake in order to keep the water in; create a wall around the lake; I know what to do; However, someone has to go out and do the digging. And its a tremendous around of work; digging those trenches is like writing those new stories of my life; thousands have to be made and created; maybe many more; it takes what it takes; might take 10,000 until Im finally pushed to move on it; change; it takes what it takes; sacrifices have to be made if I want change; I know what to do; just like the worker knows what to do when the water over flows; get out the shovel and start working.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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