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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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A new search of awareness

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:41 am

Ive been through many things these last months... As memories return to me, Im beginning to see things in a different glowing beam.

Celebrate recovery ( Christian 12 step group), energized at 6:30 tonight.. After I parked my bike inside the doors, I ate Spaghetti, and sang several songs. It was very peaceful and nice, with God based people; down to earth... Sensitive... meek...

I contrast the above against what happened to me several months before; Dealing with a girl that led me on for 8 months, pulling the rug out at the last minute and finding someone else to hook up with. I realized this girl and her boy friend did not know I had the relationship with God.. They did not know my nervous system is full of PTSD.... Therefore, when they through this Psychological tsunami at me, I was able to take it to God, and I was able to withstand the frontal attack because of the PTSD. IF this had been a normal person with no protection, that person would have killed themselves... Thus, the soul purpose of this girls interest in me was to groom me, set me up, and pull the rug out on me; with the end result of suicide do to loss and trauma. Nothing new, Ive been through this before with these kind of creeps. However, I never had my guard up in the beginning; I was manipulated into believing I had a friendly safe arrangement. I had no idea it would take my life!

My! The sociopaths like to play..
---
At Celebrate recovery were nice decent people; and that is what counts. I like nice decent people. Down to earth; not people out to destroy me for kicks and trix...

Im already meeting nice people for a second group on saturday; nice people, not manipulative people.

Im a bit to nice and naive. Im afraid manipulator predator players see me as a mark to buy and sell. ITs always a shock when they show there wares... Its always saddening when I trust one of these pirates; I end up in a complete disaster of sorts. Thank God I have God to determine my self worth. With God, I can backflip all day long and land on my face, and he is always happy with me; He allows me to make a 1000 mistakes everyday...

I will need to find a new group of people; people that do not manipulate.

I shall pray greatly on all things...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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