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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/a_new_beginning_b-8793_sid-0db310d3ccbe13e78488035513ebb584.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sun Aug 16, 2015 10:29 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | A new beginning |
I get to have a new beginning! Have you ever wanted a second childhood! Im about or I have started to live mine! In order to have a second childhood! The child in me must move from the past to the present! First, one has to get in touch with childhood and all of its memories! I must go back into childhood with God and work through it! Sift through it! IVe done this with God, 12 step groups and therapists and other groups! and processed stuff; I write allot of blogs; I'm writing what Ive processed! And processing even more! = The idea here is; let the child present his case to me and God; as he asks and pleads for help! I then present everything ive found about his childhood! And show him; Im on his side! We together work through the info! He trusts me; Im working with him! We are working together for a common good! What I found; most of the people; places, and things I was giving such great credit; were not deserving! They were not worth as much as I thought they were! And I present this to the child! The child then makes up his own mind after I present the evidence! The idea here is; if the child can see that he has no reason to live in the past; the past wasn't that great; possibly the child within me will join me in the present and start living again! == The friends The school The neighborhood The memories The relatives The family system I was forced into None of these things had the worth I gave them! I have proof that most of what happened in these neighborhoods were not worth taking with me! Not worth talking about or getting upset about! Losing these people, places or things; big ######6 deal! I can replace them with allot better people in the present! Yet, the child has to see the evidence! The child makes up his own mind! Most people were acquaintances! they were never friends The family system I came from were sociopaths! Worthless! My brothers were strangers at best; they turned out losers! So who cares if I ever see them again! Im not a loser! So why care so much about losing losers! Who cares! Most of these people were Godless! And they were idiots! And fakes, and liars in this neighborhood! I thought they were perfect people of high worth; I was wrong! They were simply strangers! At best I went to there houses a few times as a child! Most were corrupt! Upper middle class idiots! Not my kind of people! Most were never friends; just acquaintance I made them out to be more then what they were! Most people were made out worth more then they were! I lost nothing! The neighborhoods that came and went from my childhood were not important! Thats the real truth! They were never real! I have proven this! Meaning, I put value on them; more value then they were worth! The neighborhoods and its people were strangers at best! I spent some time at peoples houses; but thats about it! They didn't mean much else! I valued the time I spend with them; but knew very little about them! I tried to make them into more then what they were! They were nothing! They were complete strangers! Many of these people turned their backs on me later in life! They didn't really know me or my worth! I was a stranger to them; they did not have the capacity to see my deeper worth! They were ######6 idiots! Shallow! I do not expect anything from them at this point! I tried to make idiots into decent people! Now I know better; it was a lie! I had no business around the people in these neighborhoods; I was worth much more then to allow these idiots into my personal life! Next time I will learn! Now I know! It hurts; but knowing the people in these neighborhoods were never worth a knock on the door; knowing this; would I put so much credit into the loss of such a place! Would I really care if I moved on and never came back! Who the ###$ cares! It was just scenery, bushes and a few nice houses; and thats it! The relatives I came from were no better; idiots! Next time I will learn! I lost nothing by knowing or not knowing these imbeciles! One brother stands out as of importance! This still needs much work! He ends up robbing me; robbing my other brother of all the family money! Swindles it! So, its important that I forgive him until he no longer matters! Because he was never a real brother in the first place! Meaning, he's a ######6 loser creep and always was! He never took, responsibility for his psych problems! He's a criminal! The family system I claim he took money from never liked me in the first place and never left me any money! He got my mothers favor and she took care of him while I was thrown out! He got a family taken care of; a house and cars, and gets to move into my mothers nice home! And he gets all the land! I get nothing! Yet, the truth is; 1. I was never promised anything by these people! 2. They are sociopaths! All of them! Im not! 3. They are strangers to me and see no value in me! 4. My brother is being used by this female psychopath; his mother! Would I call this a great life! I don't think so! 5. I don't want anything to do with these psychopaths! Im missing some basic element of these people! Possibly, Im still seeing them with emotional eyes! I still see them as loved ones that turned on me! Evidence should prove out that they were never loved ones! They were never who I made them out to be! All is a lie! I have to keep working on this one! The idea is; they were never more then imbeciles in the first place from the beginning! I should not expect anything from weirdoes like this; I should not expect any part of myself to be so sick that I would want any association with these people or their off spring or monies or anything else! I need pure separation and a name change! |
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