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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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62 Stable but crazy

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu May 10, 2012 10:13 pm

Still getting bullied. I haven't dealt with that. Haven't dealt with thugs that try to control me. Big shots with small minds, they are making life unsafe. People that are so stupid they actually believe they scare me. I am scared, scared of the district attorneys office. Im not interested in going to war and ending up in front of the judge. Yet, I still have to get the resentments out and I have to learn to live with out having a reason to be pulled in front of the judges office. Its about older deeper resentments.

Im trying to live through the wrong people to solve my problems. Im on the edge, living dangerously. Im in delusion if I think my thinking is healthy, it is not, it is resentment based and could get me killed. However, more realistically I will end up humiliated and looked upon as a class clown that others don't have to take seriously.
Others are forcing me into a corral to compete with them. Im being forced against my will. I can leave. That is my only option. Im an honest honorable man. Many people don't like people like me as the rules I live by dull there life style. These people live by one ideal: authority. Either they rule or get ruled. My opinion: I don't have time to be a victim or the victimizer, nor am I interested in playing games. TRix are for kids!

Im hooked like a fish. I want to kill, I want to fight, I want to kill and fight anyone that looks or acts like the people that hurt me from my past. I am finding myself hanging out or around these undeveloped humanoids, and Im getting taken advantage by them. Im not sure what to do. Im overwhelmed. I need to walk away and get out of the harmful situation; grieve the loss and move on.
Its about Pride, its about humiliation. To be publicly humiliated sucks. Its almost to much for me. I want to kill.

I want to go back and fight some more.

I dont like being controlled by people that push power, when they have non. Bullies try to intimidate and scare. I haven't dealt with the bullies from the past. How can I deal with the ones from the present.

More step work!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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