I have to remember Life is lonely
I have to reach out
Dealing with work issues is coming next. Just talking about it; this will be hard. Work issues, control issues, carry many deep loads of PTSD.
Most of this blog is the PTSD talking. Something triggers in me and the warrior alter comes out, or traits of this alter.
The problem is; I live in a land of people that do not respect boundaries. They are controlling and stupid. People that cross my boundaries; I want to kill. To me, its war! Its that simple. I ain't going to war to French Kiss in the parking lot. Im going to war to kill anything in my killing zone.
I am at odds with my society and the way it has been running. I have no idea of the boundary structures that are required to deal with people that of my country that cross me. To me; If a man crosses into my 3 foot space without permission, with no respect for intent. He's dead! Thats his fault, not mine. Next time he can be invited into my space. Next time he can think first. But then he will be gone, wont he!
I like dealing with real men. They understand the way of things; the laws of the jungle. Respect/boundaries/territory
Women have taken over the masculine role of men.. If that isn't confusing, I don't know what is!!
Iv'e had women come up to me; attempting to push me around, bully me as if they are in charge. Are you kidding!... A bunch of girls in three piece suits acting like men. ###$.. What is the world coming to. Iv'e had professional women treat me like was a little boy; try and order me; or intimidate me. Its all very sad to see this in my country. Men acting like girls to survive. Women confused, acting like men, having to play the role of a man because some one has to step up to the plate. Its not the women's fault, what is she suppose to do. She has to take over, she starts acting masculine. The problem is the women don't understand. Men are born to protect. They are protectors of the tribe. The are the killers of the tribe. When a women tries to bully me. Im stuck.. Im not going to beat her to death. She has no idea what is really going on in the world. This whole thing is looney.
I'll adapt somehow.
I cant explain boundaries to a women; a mans boundary territorial set up. Women aren't made for such things..
Women treating me like an object. An object to climb over to get ahead. Thats a dangerous thing to do. I don't get any of this! society has lost its way! Iv'e lost my way. Im trying to get back..
I am a foreigner in a foreign land.
P.S. Im not going to kill or hurt anyone. Im venting in a PTSD way that really helps. I think that is what this forum is for; at least for me.
Thanks
OMNICEL