Our partner

User avatar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1136)
- January 2021
Wake up! Trying to become present
   Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:48 am
Planning life as an AVPD
   Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:24 am
Another break through
   Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:51 am
bulling and apologizing
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:17 pm
My work; to get up close in my imagination
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:17 am
Get right with God; God is saying
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:02 am
The message about the sociopath
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:24 pm
Moving forward
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:53 am
Beginning to move forward
   Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:11 pm
Im alone again; things are changing.
   Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:17 am

+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

53: Nothing has changed except me

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:35 am

As I slowly press onward and inward I realize I am alone. Nothing has changed. The world is as I left it. It was a horrible place when I left. An indifferent Godless place. Nothing has changed. It remains the same. As I look for what is real, I look for it alone.

When I was a small boy in school, first or second grade, I loved the Christ based Christmas shows every year. In those days God was everywhere in the school systems. The flag was everywhere and one had to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag every morning. That was a time before the insanity of Darwin and these other backward loonisies that hit the school systems in he 80's. This is before the neglect of the children. Before the abandonment of the American flag and the American child by its country. Before the bulling. Before the gun rules and gangs. The world was still owned by the family not the state. The man in the family ruled everything everywhere. A Women's roll was not to take over a man. Her roll was to help. Women were not men, and men were not women. Men were brought up to work and protect and take care of a family. In those days a mans outlook had a chance. He did not feel like he was living in someone else's country while his borders disappeared out from underneath him. He now lives in a giant parking lot, and he lives alone. No connection to self to his neighbor, or his original blue print.

The world is a lesser place of faith. The people are colder, meaner, more evil. I feel people are more sociopathic then before. Children had God when I was young. No one crossed this idea, no one crossed this line. This idea was based on love and security, faith. Love and security was the right of the family. When the families rights began to disappear, so the right to feel individual disappeared. Thus, the system began to take over the family and the boundaries of self provision..

The family values are gone... The family system has been destroyed. The family system is no more.

Honer and integrity mean nothing in todays societies. I am an honorable man. Im an honest man. Im a dumb stump.

Does honesty have any value, No. Not in this land. Im an honorable person. I have a good name! does this mean anything to anyone, NO!. Its not a value of importance. It means nothing.

Its who I am, not what I do.

love me for who I am, not who I know.

You either love me or you don't. Ive lost all family system members over this, and most , if not all my friends.

At one time women liked me because I was honorable and respectable, not because of the amount of money I brought in every month. I was a decent man. Not now!. Things have changed. Now its about who you know, and where you work, what school you went to, how much money does your family have.

If you have little money, its rape. If you are the middle class, its incest, if you are of the rich, its privilege. If you are the victim, its the rope for you.!

Respect has no place among the human race. Respect has no respect.

Im a respectful person, Im not going to change this, it is the best part of me. It always has been.


Im basically a none racial person.However I do have a kind of reversed racism. Im afraid someone who want's to know me will reject me when they find out I don't live up to the racial propaganda performance level of the caucasian middle class look.. In other words, they will think Im a looser. And they wont be friends with me. This is sad for me. Nothing new in the land of performance.

Why pick one race that might not like me. Why bring race into this. I get slammed for being a looser across the board by all people. Its equal opportunity judgement. Its about performance. Performance prejudice; dealing with the performance nazis. If I don't perform like a monkey should, Im not accepted. If I don't perform like a monkey, none of the other monkeys let me into monkey island society. I guess Im suppose to feel bad about this. I don't.

Writing prejudice is a huge problem, especially on the internet. The grammar Nazis are everywhere.


You either want to be a friend of mine or you don't.


I'm sorry if you don't~!.


Ive gone though numerous middle class people, many of them. Iv'e been thrown away by most. It was always conditional. If I didn't have the job or if I choose recovery work, I was immediately thrown away. Most of the time when I was sick and genuine, I was thrown away. If I had money and was dishonest, I would be fine with the world. Id have plenty of friends.

Ive been thrown away by people all of my life. I am the scourge of the middle class. They don't know what to do with me. I don't need social positioning and I cant be controlled. Im a bag of counteractions for these people. I have allot problems, yet, I say nothing. Im not a criminal. Im not a thief or a lier. Therefore, I cant be pulled into lower social positioning as a criminal. Im well educated, Im intelligent, creative, yet I seek no audience. What does one do with a person like me.

Im not one of them. Im of the Psychiatric class, not the middle class. The middle class has nothing to offer me. Theres to many kids hanging by the rope every month to believe in this society or its way of life. To many kids are swinging from a rope in any society; I don't believe in any of this. Societies, governments. people, kill. They kill for the fun of it. Is it all right that a child die that I may live as I wish. How about being raped, is that OK as well. Im suppose to believe in "any" societal structure that practices human scarifies, sacrifice as Ive mentioned above. NO THANKS> Please God get me out of here, let me die before I kill myself. I will be found dead at some point. I know it. I wont stay here.

I don't know how Im going to live out here. Im at odds with everything. Completely at odds to the point that I would rather die then be apart of anything. I would rather go to heaven. That would be nice.

Its a fluke that Im alive at present.
Last edited by OMNICELL on Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:39 am, edited 8 times in total.

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 13155 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Grassweeds, highdimensionman, Jimatnight, Karolinapug, Zor