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- February 2018
On being left behind
   Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:31 am

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On being left behind

Permanent Linkby Menagerie on Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:31 am

I think I might call myself Sky. Since I don't seem to have a name. I don't know how all the other people inside got names. I am a newer person and I don't have my own name. Just been answering to the birth name even though it doesn't fit. Of course, I have to do that on the outside regardless. I don't feel like a full 100% person, either. I've been describing it to some people like I'm a shell of a person. Like maybe my main person tried to make a 100% duplication of her but it only made it about 80%. Which is why Sky might fit me as a name. A sky can be gray, or it can be lots of colors depending on what it is near.

I do wonder why I got left here though in the main place. There is another adult who does a lot of work stuff (K), but I think she is more noticeable in the main role than I am. Like if she had to be the main person not just for work but for everything else I think the shift would be more noticeable, which is not what we want. We need to just be able to maintain the status quo right now until we figure out how all of this will shake out, and if the original person will return.

Maybe she will after we get through this next month. Last month, this month, and next month all have so many anniversaries and dates crammed into a short amount of time. Last year it overwhelmed her and we were in the hospital multiple times. As for me, Sky, I recall it, but more like I was told about it. I don't remember it, per se, but I know about it. And so I can keep a nice distance from the pain. So maybe that's the answer to my question.

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The stories we tell ourselves

Permanent Linkby Menagerie on Thu Feb 01, 2018 4:04 am

We are trying to hear all the selves and all their stories but not really sure how to do it. It doesn't help that our main person is gone a lot of the time... for about the last month. Maybe longer. I am similar to her, but not her. And everyone likes her. I tell myself that she is the one they all want but that's probably just a story too. We are all valid. All our stories are valid. That is what my T says. That is what I tell myself when time turns upside down.

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