| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/MJ1234/index_sid-7e892857fb6efb5d8abb976250bbf7e2.html |
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| Author: | MJ1234 [ Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:20 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | What am i and what is this help! |
ok so lets start from the beginning basically ive always liked girls from my first porn video ext. However just after i learned how to masturbate i was desperate for one (im like 12 here btw) so i went to the woods at the bus stop and masturbated however an image of one of my male mates popped up in my head and i couldn't get it out but i finished up now this messed me up as well as me then remembering about when i was a little kid and didn't know about sex and used to think of what would happen if our penis would touch (i had no idea about a vagina then). anyway i got all messed up about this and then i kept thinking what if i was gay what if and i used to get all depressed then i decided to watch a guy jacking off to see if i was gay and nothing happened down there (at age 15) for some reason this wasnt enough proof and i furthered to watch 2 guys doing it and i got hard and now i got all worried and depressed and i tried to dismiss this and then sometimes every now and then ill go and watch a guy jacking off to make sure im not bi or whatever and then watch lesbian or girl porn and yeah. I feel really depressed sometimes and then sometimes really happy. Depression runs on both sides of my family. I may also add when in the street i will never look at a guy and ever be attracted to them whereas with girls its a definite i want them ext. i never want to do anything with a guy as it disgusts me but i just feel depressed all the time about it and it annoys me in the back of my head what if im in denial ext help |
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