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Johnny-Jack's Blog
Hi, everybody! I finally figured out a few years ago that I was multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there have been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why, no matter how hard I tried.

I had periodic bouts of major depression and my memory was sometimes awful. But I didn't seem to experience the hallmarks or stereotypes of DID, like losing time. Although I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists and looked into the possibility of having DID many times, the clues I had just didn't point me to any certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. It's a blessing in childhood but disadvantageous later in life.

Several years ago, after trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks and alters began emerging and communicating with me, it was easy to own that I had DID but still hard to fathom how the normal parents and others that I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how a human being could do these things to a child, a small, innocent person. But it happened. And although it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof. I'm working in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

I communicated with a DID teen on this forum and, when it looked like he would become homeless at 19, I hired him as a live-in personal assistant. Almost immediately we came to rely on and support each other the way (good) families do so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Now we're all helping one another learn how to attach safely to people. In a way, my son's healing is my revenge by proxy against sick parents -- his and mine.
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Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 21, 2015 3:35 am

Most of the names we have just were there, floating up to us, at roughly the same time when the alter became known to us. Sometimes we'd hear the name for days until the alter visited the body. Some names appear more than once here because multiple sources resonate for some names when we try to figure out why the name is here.

Variants of birth name:
John, Little John, Johnny, Jonathan, Jack, John-John (changed to Quato); foreign variants: Hansel, Johann

Ancestral Names within Family of Origin:
Aaron, Charles (changed to Chase), Chase (changed from Charles), Godwin, Henry (ancestor pioneer), George (changed to Sky), Daniel (pioneer)

Childhood friends:
Luke [H], Matt [M], Michael [M] (Mike), Ty [H], Greg [B] (actually the brother of a friend)

People or names we knew in our youth:
Andre, Carter, Gwen, Ryder, Randy/Randall (?)

Folk, literary, historical figures:
Jack (the giant-killer; Jack Kennedy), Hansel (as in Gretel), Henry (John Henry, folk hero; King Henry), Dan/Daniel (Boone, pioneer), Edward (a knight or king in a book?), Zeb (?Zebulon Pike, pioneer), Inky (Enkido from Gilgamesh), Little John (the book Little John Little), Adam (Bible, first human), Pip/Phillip (Great Expectations)

TV/film:
Brody (John Brodie, quarterback), Max (?Maximilian Schell, actor; Maximus in Gladiator), Ty/Tyler (Toby Tyler, film), Inky (Inkadinkadoo, song), Quato (Kuato, Scifi film character), Casper (the friendly ghost), Cole (Nat King Cole), Clark (Superman), Kent (Superman), Mxyzptlk (Superman impish villain), Sky (re-runs of Sky King)

Chosen by alter (if not, we don't know):
Marc-Dominic, Nigel, Faolán (means "little wolf", maybe connected with Ashár, our wolfdog?), Chase (was Charles), Kyle (to sound like "kill"), Raisin Annie (no idea about "Annie" but "Raisin" is actually 'raising' or as in 'rescuing Annie'), Caleb and Hank (both these names have hillbilly connotations for us), Ryder

Suggested by John:
Quato, Sphinx, Little John (to distinguish from John), Clark (Superman and because he make weird "clicks" when we first met him)

Named by Sphinx:
Adam, Ashár

74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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Re: Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:23 am

Variants of birth name: Yanni, Zane

Childhood friends: Vince, Scott

Folk, literary, historical figures: Cal (John Calvin, Christian reformer), Wats (John Watson, Sherlock's Holmes' friend), Oberon (Nigel's "mystical" name, from Shakespeare's The Tempest), Abraham (Lincoln), Estes (Kefauver, politician), Orval (Faubus, politician), Bartholomew Oobleck (Dr. Seuss book), Gaul (from Kalki + Golgotha, rejected by hosts), Gwendolyn (a fairy godmother in some story)

TV/film: Xavi (Xavier Cugat, Cuban bandleader), Hoyt

Wolf-meaning names: Randy, Ulric, Faolán, Adolf (Sky's original name, which we rejected; we renamed him a family name George, which he soon rejected); Ashár (we don't think it means wolf but he's half wolf, half dog)

Not sure: Seamus (shame us?, eh, maybe not)

Country- or hillbilly-sounding (to us): Hank, Caleb, Hoyt, and "cards" Flynn, Cam, Cully, Tuck, Able, Eberly, Will. Unlike most other names in our system, these don't have a particular meaning or association, other than country-ness. Cam is short for Campbell but that may not signify anything.

Orval and Sky didn't understood the bad people they chose their names from, but Gaul surely did understand the apocalyptic nature of his original name choices.
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:01 am, edited 3 times in total.
74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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