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Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I looked into the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit that I had DID -- I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit -- but really hard to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, especially their own child, and not once but hundreds of time. It seems contrary to every human instinct. But it happened. And though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him, knowing it would be a challenge, as a live-in personal assistant for cooking, errands and driving. We quickly began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so a couple years later I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. The best revenge is living well.
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Johnny-Jack
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Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 21, 2015 3:35 am

Most of the names we have just were there, floating up to us, at roughly the same time when the alter became known to us. Sometimes we'd hear the name for days until the alter visited the body. Some names appear more than once here because multiple sources resonate for some names when we try to figure out why the name is here.

Variants of birth name:
John, Little John, Johnny, Jonathan, Jack, John-John (changed to Quato); foreign variants: Hansel, Johann

Ancestral Names within Family of Origin:
Aaron, Charles (changed to Chase), Chase (changed from Charles), Godwin, Henry (ancestor pioneer), George (changed to Sky), Daniel (pioneer)

Childhood friends:
Luke [H], Matt [M], Michael [M] (Mike), Ty [H], Greg [B] (actually the brother of a friend)

People or names we knew in our youth:
Andre, Carter, Gwen, Ryder, Randy/Randall (?)

Folk, literary, historical figures:
Jack (the giant-killer; Jack Kennedy), Hansel (as in Gretel), Henry (John Henry, folk hero; King Henry), Dan/Daniel (Boone, pioneer), Edward (a knight or king in a book?), Zeb (?Zebulon Pike, pioneer), Inky (Enkido from Gilgamesh), Little John (the book Little John Little), Adam (Bible, first human), Pip/Phillip (Great Expectations)

TV/film:
Brody (John Brodie, quarterback), Max (?Maximilian Schell, actor; Maximus in Gladiator), Ty/Tyler (Toby Tyler, film), Inky (Inkadinkadoo, song), Quato (Kuato, Scifi film character), Casper (the friendly ghost), Cole (Nat King Cole), Clark (Superman), Kent (Superman), Mxyzptlk (Superman impish villain), Sky (re-runs of Sky King)

Chosen by alter (if not, we don't know):
Marc-Dominic, Nigel, Faolán (means "little wolf", maybe connected with Ashár, our wolfdog?), Chase (was Charles), Kyle (to sound like "kill"), Raisin Annie (no idea about "Annie" but "Raisin" is actually 'raising' or as in 'rescuing Annie'), Caleb and Hank (both these names have hillbilly connotations for us), Ryder

Suggested by John:
Quato, Sphinx, Little John (to distinguish from John), Clark (Superman and because he make weird "clicks" when we first met him)

Named by Sphinx:
Adam, Ashár

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Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:23 am

Variants of birth name: Yanni, Zane

Childhood friends: Vince, Scott

Folk, literary, historical figures: Cal (John Calvin, Christian reformer), Wats (John Watson, Sherlock's Holmes' friend), Oberon (Nigel's "mystical" name, from Shakespeare's The Tempest), Abraham (Lincoln), Estes (Kefauver, politician), Orval (Faubus, politician), Bartholomew Oobleck (Dr. Seuss book), Gaul (from Kalki + Golgotha, rejected by hosts), Gwendolyn (a fairy godmother in some story)

TV/film: Xavi (Xavier Cugat, Cuban bandleader), Hoyt

Wolf-meaning names: Randy, Ulric, Faolán, Adolf (Sky's original name, which we rejected; we renamed him a family name George, which he soon rejected); Ashár (we don't think it means wolf but he's half wolf, half dog)

Not sure: Seamus (shame us?, eh, maybe not)

Country- or hillbilly-sounding (to us): Hank, Caleb, Hoyt, and "cards" Flynn, Cam, Cully, Tuck, Able, Eberly, Will. Unlike most other names in our system, these don't have a particular meaning or association, other than country-ness. Cam is short for Campbell but that may not signify anything.

Orval and Sky didn't understood the bad people they chose their names from, but Gaul surely did understand the apocalyptic nature of his original name choices.
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:01 am, edited 3 times in total.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:55 am

Gordon - because sounds like "guardian," which is sort of his role (?)
Pehr - 3 associations, too personal to explain, 2 with homonyms for the name spoken aloud, "pear"
Alvin, Sheldon - town names
Erik - Viking
Carl - not sure
Ben - Franklin, when he was a boy
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Where did our names comes from?

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:31 am

Colt - pony. Alters Colt and Cole were both abused in the basement and are connected.
Kellen, Killian - not sure but "kill" is noticeable. Also, ten names in our system contain the pattern: K-sound + vowel + L
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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