Our partner

Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I looked into the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit that I had DID -- I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit -- but really hard to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, especially their own child, and not once but hundreds of time. It seems contrary to every human instinct. But it happened. And though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him, knowing it would be a challenge, as a live-in personal assistant for cooking, errands and driving. We quickly began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so a couple years later I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. The best revenge is living well.
User avatar
Johnny-Jack
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3227
Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 3:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (45)
Archives
- March 2020
how we avoided an internal war
   Sat Mar 28, 2020 2:44 am

+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ September 2019
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ January 2018
+ October 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ September 2015
+ July 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ January 2015
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ April 2014
+ October 2013
+ August 2013
+ March 2013
+ December 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ November 2011
+ September 2011
+ August 2011
+ July 2011
Search Blogs

what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:24 pm

Useful essential attributes we hope each will contribute to a future singularity. A bit more idealistic than we'll ever be, but they hold a level of ability in these categories. If we get at least some of each, we'll be better than we are as individuals.

AARON: masculinity, confidence, maturity, ruggedness, vigor, centeredness, self-assurance
ADAM: innocence, openness, purity, connection to the life force
ASHÁR: defiance, confrontation, vigilance, incorruptibility
CHARLES: civility, dignity, sensitivity, manners
DAN: energy, ability to express anger, athletic ability, sexual performance
HANSEL: buoyancy, forgiveness, loyalty, enthusiasm, attachment
JACK: honesty, gregariousness, simplicity, non-judgmental attitude, intolerance for bullying, hospitality, access to the will of the body, power, strong moral center, family orientation, energizing other people, love of nature
JOHANN: ability to read people's motives, trust, acceptance, circumspection, prudence
JOHN: social skills, bravery, ability to act in an emergency, emotional intelligence, life experience, creativity, passion, decision-making, musical ability, enthusiasm, love of learning, team building, distinction-making, humor, writing skills, ability to mimic
JONATHAN: organization, inner calm, kindness, will to succeed/ambition, financial intelligence, team player, perseverance, focus, responsibility, leadership, business acumen, stability, propriety
LITTLE JOHN: resilience, generosity, gentleness, ability to separate, modesty, flexibility, self-denial
MARC: pride in self, drive to instill pride in others, savoir-faire, wisdom, transcendence, carriage
QUATO: irreverence, immunity from others' judgment, skepticism, ability to find humor in anything, freedom from social strictures, guile, caprice, audacity, sympathy for outcasts, shamelessness, witty sarcasm
SPHINX: logic, memory access, ability to 'vacuum' away panic, perspective, compassion, history of the body, reading of body reactions undetectable by alters

broadly shared: protectiveness towards children, monogamy
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 11, 2012 4:49 am, edited 15 times in total.

Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
1 Comment Viewed 18478 times
Comments

Re: what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:39 pm

CARTER: protection of the private parts, ability to center the self, ability to avoid confrontation
MAX: exploration, ability to freeze in danger, determination
EDWARD: drive to identify and reject bad behavior in the self, mythic sense of self
LUKE: appreciation for the simple life, politeness, memory of the good parents

additional:
AARON: philosophical thinking
DAN: respect for the body, toughness, sex drive, ability to harness anger productively, willingness to fight, desire for life
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
User avatar
Johnny-Jack
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3227
Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 3:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (45)

Who is online

Registered users: AnoCes, apollogorakhpur, ArbreMonde, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, JackDoe, KalliopePS, KINDNESSTHERAPY, Majestic-12 [Bot], Romkat