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Hi, everybody! I finally figured out a few years ago that I was multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there have been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why, no matter how hard I tried.

I had periodic bouts of major depression and my memory was sometimes awful. But I didn't seem to experience the hallmarks or stereotypes of DID, like losing time. Although I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists and looked into the possibility of having DID many times, the clues I had just didn't point me to any certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. It's a blessing in childhood but disadvantageous later in life.

Several years ago, after trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks and alters began emerging and communicating with me, it was easy to own that I had DID but still hard to fathom how the normal parents and others that I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how a human being could do these things to a child, a small, innocent person. But it happened. And although it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof. I'm working in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

I communicated with a DID teen on this forum and, when it looked like he would become homeless at 19, I hired him as a live-in personal assistant. Almost immediately we came to rely on and support each other the way (good) families do so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Now we're all helping one another learn how to attach safely to people. In a way, my son's healing is my revenge by proxy against sick parents -- his and mine.
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what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:24 pm

Useful essential attributes we hope each will contribute to a future singularity. A bit more idealistic than we'll ever be, but they hold a level of ability in these categories. If we get at least some of each, we'll be better than we are as individuals.

AARON: masculinity, confidence, maturity, ruggedness, vigor, centeredness, self-assurance
ADAM: innocence, openness, purity, connection to the life force
ASHÁR: defiance, confrontation, vigilance, incorruptibility
CHARLES: civility, dignity, sensitivity, manners
DAN: energy, ability to express anger, athletic ability, sexual performance
HANSEL: buoyancy, forgiveness, loyalty, enthusiasm, attachment
JACK: honesty, gregariousness, simplicity, non-judgmental attitude, intolerance for bullying, hospitality, access to the will of the body, power, strong moral center, family orientation, energizing other people, love of nature
JOHANN: ability to read people's motives, trust, acceptance, circumspection, prudence
JOHN: social skills, bravery, ability to act in an emergency, emotional intelligence, life experience, creativity, passion, decision-making, musical ability, enthusiasm, love of learning, team building, distinction-making, humor, writing skills, ability to mimic
JONATHAN: organization, inner calm, kindness, will to succeed/ambition, financial intelligence, team player, perseverance, focus, responsibility, leadership, business acumen, stability, propriety
LITTLE JOHN: resilience, generosity, gentleness, ability to separate, modesty, flexibility, self-denial
MARC: pride in self, drive to instill pride in others, savoir-faire, wisdom, transcendence, carriage
QUATO: irreverence, immunity from others' judgment, skepticism, ability to find humor in anything, freedom from social strictures, guile, caprice, audacity, sympathy for outcasts, shamelessness, witty sarcasm
SPHINX: logic, memory access, ability to 'vacuum' away panic, perspective, compassion, history of the body, reading of body reactions undetectable by alters

broadly shared: protectiveness towards children, monogamy
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 11, 2012 4:49 am, edited 15 times in total.

74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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Re: what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:39 pm

CARTER: protection of the private parts, ability to center the self, ability to avoid confrontation
MAX: exploration, ability to freeze in danger, determination
EDWARD: drive to identify and reject bad behavior in the self, mythic sense of self
LUKE: appreciation for the simple life, politeness, memory of the good parents

additional:
AARON: philosophical thinking
DAN: respect for the body, toughness, sex drive, ability to harness anger productively, willingness to fight, desire for life
74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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