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Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. In my search for answers I spent a fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I considered the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues I had gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit then that I had DID. I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit. But it was impossible to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person, let alone a parent, can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, not once but hundreds of time. It is contrary to the most basic human instinct to nurture and protect one's offspring. But it happened. Though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him from across the country -- knowing it would be a challenge -- as a live-in personal assistant to cook, drive and run errands. We soon began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them, dozens of sons and daughters.

Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. I sometimes feel rage when I think about his parents or mine. Still, both of us are prospering. Living well is the best revenge.
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Johnny-Jack
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what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:24 pm

Useful essential attributes we hope each will contribute to a future singularity. A bit more idealistic than we'll ever be, but they hold a level of ability in these categories. If we get at least some of each, we'll be better than we are as individuals.

AARON: masculinity, confidence, maturity, ruggedness, vigor, centeredness, self-assurance
ADAM: innocence, openness, purity, connection to the life force
ASHÁR: defiance, confrontation, vigilance, incorruptibility
CHARLES: civility, dignity, sensitivity, manners
DAN: energy, ability to express anger, athletic ability, sexual performance
HANSEL: buoyancy, forgiveness, loyalty, enthusiasm, attachment
JACK: honesty, gregariousness, simplicity, non-judgmental attitude, intolerance for bullying, hospitality, access to the will of the body, power, strong moral center, family orientation, energizing other people, love of nature
JOHANN: ability to read people's motives, trust, acceptance, circumspection, prudence
JOHN: social skills, bravery, ability to act in an emergency, emotional intelligence, life experience, creativity, passion, decision-making, musical ability, enthusiasm, love of learning, team building, distinction-making, humor, writing skills, ability to mimic
JONATHAN: organization, inner calm, kindness, will to succeed/ambition, financial intelligence, team player, perseverance, focus, responsibility, leadership, business acumen, stability, propriety
LITTLE JOHN: resilience, generosity, gentleness, ability to separate, modesty, flexibility, self-denial
MARC: pride in self, drive to instill pride in others, savoir-faire, wisdom, transcendence, carriage
QUATO: irreverence, immunity from others' judgment, skepticism, ability to find humor in anything, freedom from social strictures, guile, caprice, audacity, sympathy for outcasts, shamelessness, witty sarcasm
SPHINX: logic, memory access, ability to 'vacuum' away panic, perspective, compassion, history of the body, reading of body reactions undetectable by alters

broadly shared: protectiveness towards children, monogamy
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 11, 2012 4:49 am, edited 15 times in total.

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of 78 alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn


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Re: what 14 alters will contribute to future us/me

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:39 pm

CARTER: protection of the private parts, ability to center the self, ability to avoid confrontation
MAX: exploration, ability to freeze in danger, determination
EDWARD: drive to identify and reject bad behavior in the self, mythic sense of self
LUKE: appreciation for the simple life, politeness, memory of the good parents

additional:
AARON: philosophical thinking
DAN: respect for the body, toughness, sex drive, ability to harness anger productively, willingness to fight, desire for life
Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of 78 alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn


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