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Hi, everybody! I finally figured out a few years ago that I was multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there have been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why, no matter how hard I tried.

I had periodic bouts of major depression and my memory was sometimes awful. But I didn't seem to experience the hallmarks or stereotypes of DID, like losing time. Although I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists and looked into the possibility of having DID many times, the clues I had just didn't point me to any certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. It's a blessing in childhood but disadvantageous later in life.

Several years ago, after trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks and alters began emerging and communicating with me, it was easy to own that I had DID but still hard to fathom how the normal parents and others that I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how a human being could do these things to a child, a small, innocent person. But it happened. And although it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof. I'm working in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

I communicated with a DID teen on this forum and, when it looked like he would become homeless at 19, I hired him as a live-in personal assistant. Almost immediately we came to rely on and support each other the way (good) families do so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Now we're all helping one another learn how to attach safely to people. In a way, my son's healing is my revenge by proxy against sick parents -- his and mine.
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- November 2018
programming: how my abuser silenced me
   Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:38 am

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Types of alters, categories

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:42 pm

There are 14 alters in my system. The Sphinx tends to talk about the body almost as if it's an additional alter. The host, John, likes to list and categorize things in order to gain control over information. Analyzing my alters tends to make them and the dissociative identity disorder less strange to me. Those treating individuals with MPD/DID have found that alters tend to fall into certain categories. This list makes me realize that I'm almost pedestrian as persons with DID go, though it may be a little odd I don't have any persecutors or introjects.

Types are forced. They aren't necessarily real but they may be helpful to consider. If someone has 2 alters, the host and one other, trying to find a type may be pointless. If someone has 20 alters, looking for types similarly found in other systems can be helpful. If someone has 200 alters, assigning a type to each may be necessary to start making sense of everyone. I find it can be helpful, so I've done it. However, making assumptions that there would be ANP/EP distinctions has been confusing, counter-productive, wasteful time-wise, and experienced as hurtful to some alters, who were far deeper as personalities than I imagined. I had also counted on finding some alters who were fragments. So when a new alter didn't appear to have had much time in the body, I identified them as fragmentary. But alters were not created or designed that way in my system. They are created as a person with a handful of key traits and they very quickly begin filling themselves in with thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that would be consistent with such a person -- something like that.

Accent/Dialect: Jack (Appalachian), Charles (British English)
Animal: Ashár (wolfdog)
Core (original): Adam
Cross-gender: none
Deceased: Dan (reanimated Sep 2011)
Former Hosts: Adam, Little John
Fragments: none
Gatekeeper: the Sphinx
Helper: Marc-Dominic, Hansel (of Johann)
Host: John
Introject: none
Persecutor: none
Protector: Ashár (of Adam), Jack (of John and children), John (of a sibling)
Self-harming: John (mild)
Sexualized: Quato
Shape-shifter: Marc-Dominic
Trickster: Quato
Twins: Hansel, Johann
Untraumatized: Aaron, Marc-Dominic

* 6 Littles (age 0-6): Adam, Ashár, Little John, Hansel, Johann, Charles
* 1 Middle (age 7-12): Jack
* 2 Teens (13-19): Dan, Quato
* 4 Adults: Aaron, Jonathan, John, Marc-Dominic
* 1 Ageless: Sphinx
* 1 Older than body: Marc-Dominic [~15 years older]

The body's natural orientation is straight male.
* Straight: Jack, Jonathan, Dan, Hansel, Johann, Aaron, Little John
* Straight with gay addictions (changing): Quato
* Gay: John (shifting)
* Bisexual: Marc-Dominic
* Asexual: Sphinx
* Too young/Unknown: Adam, Ashár, Charles

* MALE: John, Jack, Jonathan, Little John, Hansel, Johann, Quato, Dan, Adam, Ashár, Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Charles
* FEMALE: none
* GENDERLESS: the Sphinx

* HIGH-BROW: Marc-Dominic (sophisticated blue-blood), Jonathan (cultured), John (academic)
* LOW-BROW: Jack (hillbilly), Dan (blue-collar grammar), Quato (street-talking)

* SPHINX (the gatekeeper): Sphinx, Ashár, Little John, John, Jonathan, Jack, Dan
* JOHN: Johann, Hansel, Quato, Charles, Marc-Dominic, Aaron
The 6 alters created by John were unknown to the gatekeeper until their revelation.

* protectiveness towards small children
* monogamy
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 11, 2012 4:43 am, edited 31 times in total.

74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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