Psychology and Mental Health Forum

Author:  Johnny-Jack [ Sat Sep 27, 2014 4:12 am ]
Blog Subject:  If they knew

If my colleagues knew that I have dissociative identity disorder, that I am multiple, what would they think? I've actually told a couple who had serious depression or anxiety issues and they kind of get it but don't want to talk about it. They won't pick up on any little jokes I tell to let them know I'm not super sensitive about it. They still all want me to be just me. I doubt I would be okay if someone else came out, that would be really hard, a huge step. Not around work colleagues. It's inappropriate anyway probably. But it would be nice if others knew and would say, hey, I did some reading, or, my cousin's spouse has that, if anyone else wants to hang out with me, I'd be fine, I'd feel honored. Even if they only half meant it.

If other people knew, how many would think or even verbalize that they know it's a made-up disorder because they read that somewhere? How many would suddenly cease to respect me or would be uncomfortable or even scared to be around me? How many would talk to me once, then just avoid ever letting it come into the conversation again? How many would be kind and ask me about it, with real concern and interest? Could any sustain that? Which ones would surprise me by feeling really awkward around me from then on? Who would offer "helpful" advice like, friend, you just need to put it all behind you and move on? Would I have the courage to say, wait, put all what behind which one of us?

It's exhausting not to be genuine, not to share your true self (selves) with others. It's demoralizing and depressing.

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