Psychology and Mental Health Forum

Author:  Johnny-Jack [ Wed Oct 24, 2018 4:16 am ]
Blog Subject:  Hank, age 8. Alter #40

I was casually grocery shopping after work tonight and felt an openness, then a youthfulness of the body and a cluelessness, a sense of being a bit lost and nervous. It was clear that a young alter was nearby but who it was wasn't immediately familiar to me. As I looked, he felt downright unfamiliar. I thought at first there was someone new. We asked the name and heard a bit garbled "Hank." Well, we do have a Hank but I'm not sure at the moment we ever met him other than perhaps very briefly. We've known about him for him for over three years.

Well I just read our full record of early encounters with him, which we've shortened and sanitized for quick reference, and it's disturbing. He has visited and we know that he was the victim of a specific type of manipulated sexual abuse. When we met him three years ago he was confused and pretty traumatized. But tonight he was more or less just a kid. Kind of like the other kids his age here but different. A nice kid, unsure, nervous, but not too scared. I liked him. He stuck around in the body a long time tonight, wanting to check things out, be here, spend time as himself, do stuff we do, like put the food away and eat some food for dinner. What he bought was something we don't usually buy but what may have been more familiar to us at his age.

He knows what's going on mostly. All our alters are able to watch a bit or maybe it's that communication among us has increased naturally and he can find knowledge and know-how pretty quickly. He's familiar with the house and our room, though he made a lot of comments about how messy it is, which is true. He didn't like it and picked things up.

I'm really glad to know more about him, though rereading what I wrote about our first awareness of him three years ago, the details of which had since been largely forgotten, it's disturbing once more how sick the father and mother were. Hank is here due to the father. That man alone caused us literally hundreds of traumas, his perversions were never-ending. Well he died when we were twelve so they did end, thankfully.

We like Hank. He's a good kid, strong, and no longer hidden away. He'll surely visit in therapy tomorrow and we'll work with him. Lastly, he wanted to respond to the woman in the grocery store and we didn't really get a chance to think about it. He did but his voice was a kid's voice, if spoken through an adult male's vocal chords. She looked at us oddly. So maybe the voice was off. Yeha, probably. And he wasn't acting like us when we shop there. It was him, an unsure kid. Being a kid in public used to be a bit terrifying to me. What would people think, would they know? Now it's just amusing. Who cares? Nobody is 100% sure what's happening unless maybe they know someone with DID.


Author:  Johnny-Jack [ Thu Oct 25, 2018 12:54 pm ]

Hank also spent a lot of time looking at and enjoying a neighbors elaborate, gaudy, and dense Halloween decorations and lights. We've looked at them before but not with the eyes or fascination of a kid.

He was in therapy yesterday too. Fronting during EMDR. I, the host, try to remain in front but I slipped away. The father's abuse was really gross, perverse, and manipulative. But we survived.

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