Our partner
Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.
I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. In my search for answers I spent a fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I considered the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues I had gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.
Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit then that I had DID. I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit. But it was impossible to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.
I will never, ever, ever understand how a person, let alone a parent, can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, not once but hundreds of time. It is contrary to the most basic human instinct to nurture and protect one's offspring. But it happened. Though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.
In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him from across the country -- knowing it would be a challenge -- as a live-in personal assistant to cook, drive and run errands. We soon began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them, dozens of sons and daughters.
Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. I sometimes feel rage when I think about his parents or mine. Still, both of us are prospering. Living well is the best revenge.
by Johnny-Jack on Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:41 am
Chronology of arrival of alters as far as can be reconstructed Suggests who was derived from whom
AGE.............ALTERS.....................................ARRIVAL #
..0................ADAM (core)..................................1..... .3 mos............|.....\..............SPHINX*..................2.... .4 mos............|.......ASHÁR.................................3.... .8 mos...........LITTLE JOHN..................................4..... ..1.................|...|.........\...................................... ..1½...............|..Edward....\...............................5.... ..2.................|................Max...........................6.... ..2½...........JOHN (host).......................................7... ..2¾........../.|.|.|\..\...\.......................................... ..3.........../..|.|.|.\...\...Carter.............................8.... ..4........./....|.|..|..\...Quato, Hansel, Johann....9, 10, 11.. ..5. Chase.....|.|...|...\........................................12... ..6..JONATHAN..|....|....\.....................................13... ..7.................|......|...JACK...............................14... ..8.................|.......|.....|...................................... ..9.................|........|....DAN.............................15... 10..................|.........|........................................... 11..................|..........|......................................... 12...Marc-Dominic...........|...................................16.. ..................................|....................................... 44.............................Aaron...............................17..
(*) gatekeeper/observer, not a regular alter CAPITALS: Alters always known to gatekeeper Sphinx
Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of 78 alters. Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
Forum rules
0 Comments
Viewed 26274 times
|
Registered users: Bing [Bot], ClarazkaTeali, DavidoosFeess, Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, jaus tail, KennethsUsels, Sherinkabom