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Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I looked into the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit that I had DID -- I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit -- but really hard to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, especially their own child, and not once but hundreds of time. It seems contrary to every human instinct. But it happened. And though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him, knowing it would be a challenge, as a live-in personal assistant for cooking, errands and driving. We quickly began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so a couple years later I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. The best revenge is living well.
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Johnny-Jack
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Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:00 am

Chronology of arrival of alters
Depicts who followed whom
Suggests who was derived from whom

AGE___________ALTERS________________________
..0................Adam (core)..............................
.3 mos............|...\..............SPHINX*...............
.4 mos............|....ASHÁR..............................
.8 mos........LITTLE JOHN................................
..2.................|..........................................
..2½...........JOHN (host).................................
..3.........../..|.|.|.\....\.................................
..4........./....|.|..|..\...Quato..+..Hansel..Johann...
..5. Charles....|.|...|...\..................................
..6.. JONATHAN..|....|....\................................
..7.................|......|...JACK..........................
..8.................|.......|.....|............................
..9.................|........|....DAN........................
10..................|.........|................................
11..................|..........|...............................
12...Marc-Dominic...........|..............................
..................................|.............................
44.............................Aaron..........................

(*) gatekeeper/observer, not a regular alter
ALTERS CREATED BY GATEKEEPER "SPHINX" in CAPS
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:55 am, edited 15 times in total.

Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Fri Jul 17, 2015 2:33 am

Wow, this was accurate when we knew about 14 alters. We now know about 42 of us and I couldn't begin to figure out how they fit into this chart. Things are much more complex now, everyone's age of creation unclear. The first alters we found were more distinct or something.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:10 am

We're at 51 known alters now and much detail is clearer. This was viewed 25K times. I can't begin to comprehend that.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Re: Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Sat May 13, 2017 3:29 am

Another year or so later and we're at 56 of us. We do know a lot sequential connections, such as certain alters replacing others, and some of those are more than two alter sequences. And we know of synchronous connections, like several alters forming pairs.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Johnny-Jack
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Re: Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:01 am

Six and a half years later and we're at 70 alters. Five times as many as when we did this "family tree." I don't think it would be possible to do a tree like this now, but we do have a 11x17 chart of everyone arranged by age, with description and color coding for categories and functions.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Johnny-Jack
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Re: Family Tree (who begat whom)

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:12 pm

Just to keep the comments on this old blog going...

Eight years later and we're 75 alters with at least one more, possibly others. We have a chart of everyone on a huge poster above our bed to let everyone know that they're not forgotten. We're working with everyone on various traumas in our weekly therapy sessions.
Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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Johnny-Jack
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