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Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. In my search for answers I spent a fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I considered the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues I had gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit then that I had DID. I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit. But it was impossible to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person, let alone a parent, can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, not once but hundreds of time. It is contrary to the most basic human instinct to nurture and protect one's offspring. But it happened. Though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him from across the country -- knowing it would be a challenge -- as a live-in personal assistant to cook, drive and run errands. We soon began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them, dozens of sons and daughters.

Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. I sometimes feel rage when I think about his parents or mine. Still, both of us are prospering. Living well is the best revenge.
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how we avoided an internal war
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Extrovert or Introvert...both!

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:05 pm

John wrote this: I generally assumed I was an introvert until I went to college and blossomed socially, especially in my fraternity. Then I took a Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test and found I was definitely an extrovert. Childhood friends more recently have told me I was very quiet and serious until mid-fifth grade, then changed and became very social and an extrovert. Though we can't confirm via memory, this appears to be the exact time Jonathan went inside and stopped going to school for me. This got me wondering how wrong I could be about myself and was there anything else I was getting wrong. It's not until recently, with the DID, that I discovered how wrong.

JOHN: extrovert who in recent decades has come to live like an introvert; a definite extrovert at work or in social situations
QUATO: introvert, distrusting of people but doesn't mind being around or in the midst of crowds as long as he's not forced to interact, prefers cynical introverted outcasts and outsiders, hates establishment-type things
JACK: extreme extrovert, way out on the end of the scale, very talkative, loves being with people, comfortable around anybody
LITTLE JOHN: introvert based on behavior but avoidance behavior was protective
DAN: extrovert, though tends toward domineering and judgmental
JONATHAN: in the middle, maybe slightly extrovert, likes being around people; calm personality
MARC: slightly introverted or maybe it's just snobbery
SPHINX: introvert although this dichotomy seems bizarre to apply to a robot; he doesn't live in the human world and is interested in them in a compassionate but rather clinical way so how could he possibly be an extrovert?
HANSEL: bubbly extrovert, but wary because he's only 4
JOHANN: mild introvert, much more wary of people
ADAM: a baby, so indeterminate, but gets very happy when someone talks to him
ASHAR: traumatized feral child; based on desire to connect, maybe extrovert
AARON: feels extrovert by ability, but introvert by inclination
CHARLES: don't know well enough yet but maybe introvert
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 18, 2012 8:35 pm, edited 13 times in total.

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of 78 alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn

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