Our partner

Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I looked into the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit that I had DID -- I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit -- but really hard to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, especially their own child, and not once but hundreds of time. It seems contrary to every human instinct. But it happened. And though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him, knowing it would be a challenge, as a live-in personal assistant for cooking, errands and driving. We quickly began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so a couple years later I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. The best revenge is living well.
User avatar
Johnny-Jack
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3239
Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 3:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (45)
Archives
- March 2020
how we avoided an internal war
   Sat Mar 28, 2020 2:44 am

+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ September 2019
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ January 2018
+ October 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ September 2015
+ July 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ January 2015
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ April 2014
+ October 2013
+ August 2013
+ March 2013
+ December 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ November 2011
+ September 2011
+ August 2011
+ July 2011
Search Blogs

Extrovert or Introvert...both!

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:05 pm

John wrote this: I generally assumed I was an introvert until I went to college and blossomed socially, especially in my fraternity. Then I took a Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test and found I was definitely an extrovert. Childhood friends more recently have told me I was very quiet and serious until mid-fifth grade, then changed and became very social and an extrovert. Though we can't confirm via memory, this appears to be the exact time Jonathan went inside and stopped going to school for me. This got me wondering how wrong I could be about myself and was there anything else I was getting wrong. It's not until recently, with the DID, that I discovered how wrong.

JOHN: extrovert who in recent decades has come to live like an introvert; a definite extrovert at work or in social situations
QUATO: introvert, distrusting of people but doesn't mind being around or in the midst of crowds as long as he's not forced to interact, prefers cynical introverted outcasts and outsiders, hates establishment-type things
JACK: extreme extrovert, way out on the end of the scale, very talkative, loves being with people, comfortable around anybody
LITTLE JOHN: introvert based on behavior but avoidance behavior was protective
DAN: extrovert, though tends toward domineering and judgmental
JONATHAN: in the middle, maybe slightly extrovert, likes being around people; calm personality
MARC: slightly introverted or maybe it's just snobbery
SPHINX: introvert although this dichotomy seems bizarre to apply to a robot; he doesn't live in the human world and is interested in them in a compassionate but rather clinical way so how could he possibly be an extrovert?
HANSEL: bubbly extrovert, but wary because he's only 4
JOHANN: mild introvert, much more wary of people
ADAM: a baby, so indeterminate, but gets very happy when someone talks to him
ASHAR: traumatized feral child; based on desire to connect, maybe extrovert
AARON: feels extrovert by ability, but introvert by inclination
CHARLES: don't know well enough yet but maybe introvert
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 18, 2012 8:35 pm, edited 13 times in total.

Forum rules

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
0 Comments Viewed 13654 times

Who is online

Registered users: Abadoa, Aries411, Arrongyday, Bing [Bot], DwightDesia, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, Teeryspeed, ValeryDix, WillieOrine, Yahoo [Bot]