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Hi, everybody! I finally figured out a few years ago that I was multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there have been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why, no matter how hard I tried.

I had periodic bouts of major depression and my memory was sometimes awful. But I didn't seem to experience the hallmarks or stereotypes of DID, like losing time. Although I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists and looked into the possibility of having DID many times, the clues I had just didn't point me to any certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. It's a blessing in childhood but disadvantageous later in life.

Several years ago, after trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks and alters began emerging and communicating with me, it was easy to own that I had DID but still hard to fathom how the normal parents and others that I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how a human being could do these things to a child, a small, innocent person. But it happened. And although it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof. I'm working in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

I communicated with a DID teen on this forum and, when it looked like he would become homeless at 19, I hired him as a live-in personal assistant. Almost immediately we came to rely on and support each other the way (good) families do so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Now we're all helping one another learn how to attach safely to people. In a way, my son's healing is my revenge by proxy against sick parents -- his and mine.
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- November 2018
programming: how my abuser silenced me
   Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:38 am

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Extrovert or Introvert...both!

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:05 pm

John wrote this: I generally assumed I was an introvert until I went to college and blossomed socially, especially in my fraternity. Then I took a Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test and found I was definitely an extrovert. Childhood friends more recently have told me I was very quiet and serious until mid-fifth grade, then changed and became very social and an extrovert. Though we can't confirm via memory, this appears to be the exact time Jonathan went inside and stopped going to school for me. This got me wondering how wrong I could be about myself and was there anything else I was getting wrong. It's not until recently, with the DID, that I discovered how wrong.

JOHN: extrovert who in recent decades has come to live like an introvert; a definite extrovert at work or in social situations
QUATO: introvert, distrusting of people but doesn't mind being around or in the midst of crowds as long as he's not forced to interact, prefers cynical introverted outcasts and outsiders, hates establishment-type things
JACK: extreme extrovert, way out on the end of the scale, very talkative, loves being with people, comfortable around anybody
LITTLE JOHN: introvert based on behavior but avoidance behavior was protective
DAN: extrovert, though tends toward domineering and judgmental
JONATHAN: in the middle, maybe slightly extrovert, likes being around people; calm personality
MARC: slightly introverted or maybe it's just snobbery
SPHINX: introvert although this dichotomy seems bizarre to apply to a robot; he doesn't live in the human world and is interested in them in a compassionate but rather clinical way so how could he possibly be an extrovert?
HANSEL: bubbly extrovert, but wary because he's only 4
JOHANN: mild introvert, much more wary of people
ADAM: a baby, so indeterminate, but gets very happy when someone talks to him
ASHAR: traumatized feral child; based on desire to connect, maybe extrovert
AARON: feels extrovert by ability, but introvert by inclination
CHARLES: don't know well enough yet but maybe introvert
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Fri May 18, 2012 8:35 pm, edited 13 times in total.

74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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