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Johnny-Jack's Musings and Some Alter Stories
Hi, all! I finally figured out a few years ago that I am multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there had been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why.

I had periodic depressions and my memory was often poor. But I didn't experience the hallmarks of DID like losing chunks of time. In my search for answers I spent a fortune on books, seminars, and therapists. I considered the possibility of having DID many times, but the clues I had gave me no certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. A blessing in childhood, problematic later.

Several years ago, trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks, and alters "woke up" and communicated with me. It was easy to admit then that I had DID. I had always felt a bit like a counterfeit. But it was impossible to fathom how the "good" parents I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually.

I will never, ever, ever understand how a person, let alone a parent, can hurt a small, innocent, utterly defenseless child, not once but hundreds of time. It is contrary to the most basic human instinct to nurture and protect one's offspring. But it happened. Though it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof it happened. Now I work in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

In 2011 I began communicating with a teen with DID and, when it looked like he would become homeless, I hired him from across the country -- knowing it would be a challenge -- as a live-in personal assistant to cook, drive and run errands. We soon began to rely on and support each other the way healthy families do, so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them, dozens of sons and daughters.

Over the years we've learned how to attach to another person, safely and in a family context. I sometimes feel rage when I think about his parents or mine. Still, both of us are prospering. Living well is the best revenge.
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how we avoided an internal war
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awards: characteristics of my alters

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:08 am

AWARDS, because they deserve the appreciation and the recognition:

Best with animals: John
Best with bullies: Jack
Best with chaos: Sphinx
Best with children: Jack
Best with farm animals: John
Best with finances: Jonathan
Best with intellectuals: John, Jonathan
Best with pain: Ashár
Best with poor people: Jack
Best with rich people: Marc Dominic
Best with low-lifes: Quato
Best with women: John
Best with men: Quato
Best with pets: Little John
Best with secrets: Hansel & Johann
Best with sports: Dan
Best with stuffed animals: Adam * BLUE RIBBON *
Best with toddlers: Jack

Best attacker: Ashár
Best friendship: Hansel & Johann * BLUE RIBBON *
Best fist-fighter: Jack
Best giggler: Little John
Best leader: Jonathan
Best liar: Quato * BLUE RIBBON *
Best money-maker: Jonathan
Best mingler: Marc Dominic
Best prankster: Quato
Best runner: Dan
Best sleeper: Adam
Best tutor: Marc Dominic

Most adorable: Little John
Most aggressive: Dan
Most ambitious: Jonathan
Most angry: Ashár
Most arrogant: Marc Dominic
Most athletic: Dan
Most betrayed: Johann
Most brave: John
Most calm: Jonathan
Most cocky: Dan
Most compassionate: Hansel
Most compliant: Little John
Most creative: John
Most cynical: Quato
Most dramatic: John
Most eclectic: John
Most effective: Jonathan
Most empathetic: John
Most entertaining: John
Most entitled: Marc Dominic * BLUE RIBBON *
Most experienced: John
Most family-oriented: Jack
Most fearful: Adam
Most fit: Jonathan
Most good-natured: Little John
Most impatient: Dan
Most inclusive: John
Most indispensable: Adam
Most insane: Quato
Most intense: Dan
Most irascible: Dan * BLUE RIBBON *
Most irresponsible: Quato
Most judgmental: Marc Dominic
Most kinky: Quato
Most loyal: Hansel
Most macho: Dan
Most marriageable: Jack * BLUE RIBBON *
Most masculine: Quato
Most mischievous: Hansel
Most mistrusting: Ashár
Most mysterious: Sphinx
Most objective: Sphinx
Most optimistic: Hansel
Most organized: Jonathan
Most outgoing: Jack
Most outrageous: Quato
Most patrician: Marc Dominic
Most rational: Jonathan
Most religious: Jack
Most reserved: Little John
Most responsible: Jonathan * BLUE RIBBON *
Most rural: Jack
Most sarcastic: Quato
Most secretive: Johann
Most self-confident: Aaron
Most serious: Sphinx * BLUE RIBBON *
Most successful: Jonathan
Most sexual: Quato
Most sophisticated: Marc Dominic
Most steadfast: Johann
Most talkative: Jack
Most tentative: Little John
Most tough: Dan
Most traumatized: Adam
Most undemanding: Little John * BLUE RIBBON *
Most untraumatized: Aaron
Most urban: Jonathan
Most vigilant: Ashár * BLUE RIBBON *
Most wacky: Quato

Oldest: Marc Dominic (70s)
Youngest: Adam (1.5)

Okay, I'll use this list to group the ridiculous number of Johns together:
Most likely to succeed: Jonathan
Most likely to avoid: Little John
Most likely to read: John, aka Johnny
Most likely to snear: John-John, aka Quato
Most likely to comfort: John-John-John, aka Hansel
Most likely to puke: John-John-John-John, aka Johann
Most likely to talk: Jack
Most likely to erupt: Dan, aka Dack
Most likely to judge: Marc Dominic
Most likely to nap: Adam
Most likely to bite: Ashár
Most likely to assess: The One, aka the Sphinx
Most likely to remain calm: Aaron

JOHN: brave, creative, dramatic, eclectic, empathetic, entertaining, experienced, inclusive, reader
SPHINX: mysterious, objective, serious
ADAM: fearful, indispensible, traumatized, sleeper
ASHAR: angry, mistrusting, vigilant, attacks, bites
JACK: family-oriented, marriageable, outgoing, rural, talkative, fist-fighter, farmer
DAN: aggressive, athletic, cocky, impatient, intense, irascible, macho, tough; sports, runner
HANSEL: compassionate, loyal, mischievous, comforting, optimistic
JOHANN: betrayed, secretive, steadfast
JONATHAN: ambitious, calm, effective, fit, organized, rational, responsible, successful, urban, money-maker, businessman, leader
QUATO: cynical, insane, irresponsible, kinky, masculine, outrageous, sarcastic, sexual, wacky, liar, prankster, street-talking
LITTLE JOHN: adorable, compliant, good-natured, optimistic, reserved, tentative, undemanding, giggler, smiles, animal-lover
MARC-DOMINIC: arrogant, entitled, judgmental, sophisticated, patrician, mingler, changling, tutor
AARON: untraumatized, self-confident
CHARLES: (too new, we don't know him well yet but he's nice)
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:45 am, edited 14 times in total.

Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn

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