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Hi, everybody! I finally figured out a few years ago that I was multiple, having suffered yet to some degree succeeded in life with dissociative identity disorder. Like many with DID, there have been areas of and moments in my life that were confusing and dysfunctional but I could never figure out why, no matter how hard I tried.

I had periodic bouts of major depression and my memory was sometimes awful. But I didn't seem to experience the hallmarks or stereotypes of DID, like losing time. Although I spent a small fortune on books, seminars, and therapists and looked into the possibility of having DID many times, the clues I had just didn't point me to any certainty and no therapist helped me focus on the potential root cause of my problems. Blocked awareness and inaccessible memories are how DID works. It's a blessing in childhood but disadvantageous later in life.

Several years ago, after trauma memories started coming to me in images and flashbacks and alters began emerging and communicating with me, it was easy to own that I had DID but still hard to fathom how the normal parents and others that I remembered were randomly monstrous abusers of me as a child, psychologically, physically and sexually. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how a human being could do these things to a child, a small, innocent person. But it happened. And although it wasn't necessary, I sought and discovered external proof. I'm working in therapy and in life to reverse the damage these warped people caused.

I communicated with a DID teen on this forum and, when it looked like he would become homeless at 19, I hired him as a live-in personal assistant. Almost immediately we came to rely on and support each other the way (good) families do so I adopted him. Really, I adopted them. Now we're all helping one another learn how to attach safely to people. In a way, my son's healing is my revenge by proxy against sick parents -- his and mine.
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Johnny-Jack
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awards: characteristics of my alters

Permanent Linkby Johnny-Jack on Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:08 am

AWARDS, because they deserve the appreciation and the recognition:

Best with animals: John
Best with bullies: Jack
Best with chaos: Sphinx
Best with children: Jack
Best with farm animals: John
Best with finances: Jonathan
Best with intellectuals: John, Jonathan
Best with pain: Ashár
Best with poor people: Jack
Best with rich people: Marc Dominic
Best with low-lifes: Quato
Best with women: John
Best with men: Quato
Best with pets: Little John
Best with secrets: Hansel & Johann
Best with sports: Dan
Best with stuffed animals: Adam * BLUE RIBBON *
Best with toddlers: Jack

Best attacker: Ashár
Best friendship: Hansel & Johann * BLUE RIBBON *
Best fist-fighter: Jack
Best giggler: Little John
Best leader: Jonathan
Best liar: Quato * BLUE RIBBON *
Best money-maker: Jonathan
Best mingler: Marc Dominic
Best prankster: Quato
Best runner: Dan
Best sleeper: Adam
Best tutor: Marc Dominic

Most adorable: Little John
Most aggressive: Dan
Most ambitious: Jonathan
Most angry: Ashár
Most arrogant: Marc Dominic
Most athletic: Dan
Most betrayed: Johann
Most brave: John
Most calm: Jonathan
Most cocky: Dan
Most compassionate: Hansel
Most compliant: Little John
Most creative: John
Most cynical: Quato
Most dramatic: John
Most eclectic: John
Most effective: Jonathan
Most empathetic: John
Most entertaining: John
Most entitled: Marc Dominic * BLUE RIBBON *
Most experienced: John
Most family-oriented: Jack
Most fearful: Adam
Most fit: Jonathan
Most good-natured: Little John
Most impatient: Dan
Most inclusive: John
Most indispensable: Adam
Most insane: Quato
Most intense: Dan
Most irascible: Dan * BLUE RIBBON *
Most irresponsible: Quato
Most judgmental: Marc Dominic
Most kinky: Quato
Most loyal: Hansel
Most macho: Dan
Most marriageable: Jack * BLUE RIBBON *
Most masculine: Quato
Most mischievous: Hansel
Most mistrusting: Ashár
Most mysterious: Sphinx
Most objective: Sphinx
Most optimistic: Hansel
Most organized: Jonathan
Most outgoing: Jack
Most outrageous: Quato
Most patrician: Marc Dominic
Most rational: Jonathan
Most religious: Jack
Most reserved: Little John
Most responsible: Jonathan * BLUE RIBBON *
Most rural: Jack
Most sarcastic: Quato
Most secretive: Johann
Most self-confident: Aaron
Most serious: Sphinx * BLUE RIBBON *
Most successful: Jonathan
Most sexual: Quato
Most sophisticated: Marc Dominic
Most steadfast: Johann
Most talkative: Jack
Most tentative: Little John
Most tough: Dan
Most traumatized: Adam
Most undemanding: Little John * BLUE RIBBON *
Most untraumatized: Aaron
Most urban: Jonathan
Most vigilant: Ashár * BLUE RIBBON *
Most wacky: Quato

Oldest: Marc Dominic (70s)
Youngest: Adam (1.5)

Okay, I'll use this list to group the ridiculous number of Johns together:
Most likely to succeed: Jonathan
Most likely to avoid: Little John
Most likely to read: John, aka Johnny
Most likely to snear: John-John, aka Quato
Most likely to comfort: John-John-John, aka Hansel
Most likely to puke: John-John-John-John, aka Johann
Most likely to talk: Jack
Most likely to erupt: Dan, aka Dack
Most likely to judge: Marc Dominic
Most likely to nap: Adam
Most likely to bite: Ashár
Most likely to assess: The One, aka the Sphinx
Most likely to remain calm: Aaron

JOHN: brave, creative, dramatic, eclectic, empathetic, entertaining, experienced, inclusive, reader
SPHINX: mysterious, objective, serious
ADAM: fearful, indispensible, traumatized, sleeper
ASHAR: angry, mistrusting, vigilant, attacks, bites
JACK: family-oriented, marriageable, outgoing, rural, talkative, fist-fighter, farmer
DAN: aggressive, athletic, cocky, impatient, intense, irascible, macho, tough; sports, runner
HANSEL: compassionate, loyal, mischievous, comforting, optimistic
JOHANN: betrayed, secretive, steadfast
JONATHAN: ambitious, calm, effective, fit, organized, rational, responsible, successful, urban, money-maker, businessman, leader
QUATO: cynical, insane, irresponsible, kinky, masculine, outrageous, sarcastic, sexual, wacky, liar, prankster, street-talking
LITTLE JOHN: adorable, compliant, good-natured, optimistic, reserved, tentative, undemanding, giggler, smiles, animal-lover
MARC-DOMINIC: arrogant, entitled, judgmental, sophisticated, patrician, mingler, changling, tutor
AARON: untraumatized, self-confident
CHARLES: (too new, we don't know him well yet but he's nice)
Last edited by Johnny-Jack on Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:45 am, edited 14 times in total.

74 of us. Dx=DID. John, Johnny, Ryder hosts. Sphinx. Gwendolyn 50s. Marc-Dominic, Aaron, Gaul 40s. Jonathan 33. Neville 20. Quato 19. Kyle 16. Ulric, Calvin, Daniel 15. Faolán 14. Hoyt, Cam, Cully, Flynn, Tuck, Abel, Eberly, Will, Gordon, Pehr, Mick/Mxyzptlk 13. Nigel 12. Orval, Jack 11. Abraham, Zane, Ty, Randy 10. Brody 9. Sky, Yanni, Vince, Luke, Hank, Xavi 8. Cole, Matt, Chase 7. Andre, Godwin, Greg, Carter, Estes, Seamus 6. Michael, Caleb, Inky, Kent 5. Casper, Bartholomew, Raisin Annie, Scott, Hansel & Johann, Wats 4. Pip, Max, Little John 3. Erik, Carl, Sheldon, Alvin, Ashár, Henry 2. Edward, Clark, Zeb 1. Adam <1
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