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Crittle
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PLEASE HELP ME!
   Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:19 pm
Here's me
   Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:09 pm

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PLEASE HELP ME!

Permanent Linkby Crittle on Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:19 pm

Dear pyschforums users,
Please please please help me out with support and comfort in that I'm not the ONLY one going through this mental discombobulating notes. I'm diagnosed with several things, the most faulty or prevelant one is ptsd, I have gotten to the point that my ptsd moved into different areas of ny psychi, creating different personalities to cope with all the freakn trauma I've been through, I never knew my illness would get this bad, and now I'm in a situation with many characters, in which my therapist and psychiatrist tell me are "parts of me", and I'm left in aww because I lose time or confused. I have had so so many names that tell me I'm different and practically mentally inadequate in society, and it's not fair. I know I'm different, but... "hello!", "everyone is" .... stupid, freakn dumbasses that are immature and insulting and ignorant to ANTthing to do with being mentally ill. See, if your friend rolls her/his ankle.... you feel sympathy and you ALSO feel empathy for the pain since you've been through bodily pains as well. Whereas, when you'd perhaps find out your close friend perhaps has borderline, you come to think, 'oh that's just a fancy way of saying that u cannot endure life's ups and downs, when REALLY, the friend is merely human and in major emotional pain that even have many dictors perplexed in what to do with the shared information,
Me,,,, I just want to be free, I want to not be going through anguish (f the labels because NOBODY but myself and my God can do such a thing with relevance)... want to not have as many floods of horrible memories and no more flashbacks, and no more humiliating disacociations. I don't want to be normal (all tharpt is, is an option on your epwashwe and dryer) .... but I want to play enjoy my life, and right now I can 100% tell you I do not. It's really pretty sad in my own realms of living my existence, but it is twat is, sadly enough, I don't even wake up with a glimpse of hope these days,.... I prefer to not expect more so I won't be disappointed with less,
Does, ANYBODY have any adcvice or uplifting words for me, because on top of all my psychiatric crap, I was diagnosed with lupus three wks back and am left clueless of which direction to turn from here. I don't care your gender, age, or race... but would absolutely take in (after the evaluation of course), advice and hints on how to go about my journey, however long I'll have left,
For those who have taken sacred time out of your much valued life to read my vent fully stated feelings and words... THANK YOU FROM WITHIN ALL OF MY GEART and please please please write some type (any) comment to show your support, understanding, or advice yay?,.....
Sincerely,
Crittle

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Here's me

Permanent Linkby Crittle on Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:09 pm

Hello,
I'm a hectic bundle of diagnosiss- Schizophrenia, depression and anxiety, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, severe ptsd, and the drum roll....... resulting in DID (multiple personality disorder). I am NOT bragging, I'm actually embarrassed but oh well it's life.p, so I'd rather make fun of my illnesses severity than go in a corner and cry about it. On the other hand (or.. 'in the next personality within...), I'm sure at LEAST one of my parts is crying about it because it truly angers me, leaves me confused, and in a state of depression in which I cannot escape. I also have something called COPD (perfectionism) which leaves me with low self esteem and low confidence and higher anxiety.why am I saying all this? I isolate and have few friends. I lie every time someone asks me how I'm doing cuz I'm usually searching for a way to kill myself wherever I am. I'm "fine: ###$ up, insecure, nearotic, and emotional". Anyways, nice to meet ya. And, weird feeling towards this topic yet I was just diagnosed with lupus, in which there is n
O cure. On the web it states 40% of people die within the first four years after being diagnosed. But in a way this comforts me because maybe I'll be in a better place withOUT all this mental anguish!
Is that crazy to think this way???
Sincerely,

Crittle

1 Comment Viewed 2256 times

Here's me

Permanent Linkby Crittle on Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:55 pm

Schizophrenia, depression and anxiety, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, severe ptsd, and the drum roll....... resulting in DID (multiple personality disorder). I am NOT bragging, I'm actually embarrassed but oh well it's life. I also have COPD (perfectionism) which leaves me with low self esteem and low confidence and higher anxiety.why am I saying all this? I isolate and have few friends. I lie every time someone asks me how I'm doing cuz I'm usually searching for a way to kill myself wherever I am. I'm "fine: ###$ up, insecure, nearotic, and emotional". Anyways, nice to meet ya.
Crittle

1 Comment Viewed 2414 times

F it up-freewrite in five

Permanent Linkby Crittle on Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:47 am

I f'd it up. My life is torn.
Too bad I didn't die, too bad I was born.

Go back to that space,
Get off my fn case!

Nobody understands,
The whomsoever does with a plan?

Questions run through my mind,
They haunt and voices disturb all the time.

Give me my meds, and don't u fn steal,
Jesus Christ, I'm so stressed not knowing my last meal

Now I'm balding on two large sections,
I'm a freakn female, 35 and don't like the reactions

So give me a break, leave me a lone...
But that's for I'm a burden yet want you to stay home

Derrrr mrrrr .... cure?
Nope, beyotch just shed a fn tear!

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