Been a lot in the news recently, first the sad news about Oslo and the island and now the news about Amy Winehouse. In my befuddled head it is all going round and not making too much sense but it prob does not make too much sense anyhow, the news rarely does.

I must sound really fruit loop today. In an effort to slow down my thoughts I am talking outloud slowly about what I am doing. Although it gets confusing becuase by the time I get to the end of my sentence the thoughts have gone on to something else.

And numbers! Wow numbers are amazing! I am seeing patterns in them everywhere.

I do have insight tho and this will be gone soon. By that I mean the hypo not the insight (I hope)...

Cracked

Well I have had one of my least favourite experiences today, a workman in my house. I always think they are going to end up raping and attacking me. He was very nice and I got a free upgrade for the TV upgrade he was installing so I now have the option of watching TV in bed, not that I am there very often. But it does seem like a very decadent luxury.

I saw my friend with alcohol problems today as well. She seems to be doing OK but what worries me is she is very good at appearing OK on the outside whilst not really being OK on the inside. Still hopefully how she was is for real. She insisted she was fine.

I have not heard from the other person who showed up on my doorstep again a few days ago since. I wonder if I should text her but she is hard work and i am not sure I am up to that atm.

Still hearing things including a weird exorcist like voice saying "carry me" today and thoughts racing at about a thousand miles an hour but I guess i am only day 1 into the med change so I can't expect too much yet.

I saw this rucksack I really wanted to buy today but i literally have NO money so could not get it. I still feel like going back and getting it anyway but I am sitting on my hands and forcing myself not to. That is the problem with being hypo and going into camping shops! Lol.

Well have good days peeps.

Cracked

Who says she is hypomanic and a little on the psychotic side. So has messed with her meds and Cracked is hoping this will nip things in the bud as she has a festival at the end of August. And wants to be well for this. Esp as the line up is fantastic for a folky like Cracked.

Sooooooooooo what else has Cracked been up to? Waiting for meds to come again, as they have changed, tres boring. And having to give a meeting a miss this evening on orders of my psych.

Still waiting for my CPN to call me back despite leaving 2 messages, she is nice but not always the most reliable person. Ho hum.

Just a minor whinge here, it is JULY and I am in my dressing gown and thick socks. Where is summer? It had better not be like this at Greenbelt. Please bring on sunny skies and scorching temperatures.

Just heard that Nelson Mandela has turned 93, where has the time gone since he was freed. That is a book to read The Long Walk To Freedom. Highly recommended.

Been ordered to get my lithium levels checked and a bunch of other bloods too, I hate being prodded and poked, i am a terrible patient, as my psych likes to remind me. Today I offered to fiddle with my meds myself but she said no as I had a tendancy to end up in hospital when I did that - which I did not like being reminded of. Well they do say Drs make the worst patients.

Anyhow enough whittering on. Hope all is well with all of you.

Cracked

Hi All,

I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Hehehe.

Well family time was OK except the usual pushing into child mode and the fact I was sick all day Monday. I am not sure why. I think it was either dodgy cheese wrap on the train or not drinking enough water and giving myself lithium poisoning.

I had a bit of a pain in the arse. My auntie gave me a can of beer to have with my sandwich but I did not fancy it so i put it in my rucksack only to find it had split and there was beer eveywhere. So I now have a rucksack that smells of beer and a buttload of laundry to do.

I am so sad I have come back to a recording of the Antiques roadshow and I am all excited. That plus The Apprentice Final - and if any of you tell me who won you will be in big trouble, and Britain's next top model. So looking forward to all that.

Wednesdays are always boring for me as I have to wait in for my meds so at least I have some things to do, notably forum work.

Anyhow, missed you all. Hope you are OK and thinking of you.

Cracked

Packing done, forum done, just need to get dressed and then I am ready to go.

Soooooooooooooooooo family time... we will see how it goes.

Hope you all have a good rest of weekend and see you Tuesday.

Cracked