Bollocksing arse. I have my Care Plan Approach or whatever it stands for meeting today.

I hate my team. I hate spending time in their company. I hate them treating me like I am an unstable 5 year old with no insight. I am not. I am an adult with insight.

I have a bunch of things I want to ask them about including

Taking procyclidine for my tremor
Something to help me sleep at the right times
Why they think I have BPD as well as bipolar when I dont fit diagnostic criteria
RTW
Driving

In all likelihood I wont ask any of this as i will be drug seeking and lacking insight if I do.

Grrrr they just annoy me big style and I wish they would go away and leave me alone. My lithium level is late too so I will be in trouble for that. I am 32 I should not be getting into trouble...

Double grrrr

Hope you are all well

Hugs

Cracked

I am listening to a song on GMS called Jacobs Ladder and it just pinged me back to Nigeria. I had totally forgot it existed as a song and that we used to sing it. It was a great song, but it made me sad and triggered.

Sometimes things do that - totally random things wake you up and ping you back. And not things you would necessarily think would do that.

Well it has stopped now and other than having a bit of a trigger hangover I feel not too bad. I just wanted to blog this to remember that it happened and maybe think about the song a little more at some point when I am feeling safer.

Hope you are all well

Hugs

Cracked

I am having the most lovely lovely time here with masq chatting and drinking Ouzo

I thought I would tell you a little about what we have done so far.

I arrived a couple of days ago for my little outing and went for coffee after running towards masq at the station for a big hug and a crafty cig.

We went for coffee and a chat and I also got earmuffs

Then chinese.

Then wine and chatting til 5 am and up at 9 for a yummy breakfast prepared and served for me (very good indeed) and off to Liverpool.

Then I think I did a slightly high thing and paid for us to have our eyebrows pierced thus bonding us forever in sisterhood of the pierced eyebrow

Oooooh I forgot we also got the ferry 'cross the mersey which was ace!

Then I cooked us dinner and we talked even more

Today we faffed and gossiped and went out for lunch and pints with the intent of going to Liverpool but were too lazy and went to the beach instead so we got blown to pieces in a storm and sheltered in a cafe having coffee. We also won cuddly toys at an arcade. Mine is called Bob and masq's is called Psych.

Then we dyed each others hair (man this is turning into the blog of the sisterhood of bonding).

And faffed more, and chatted more and laughed and cried and ate and drank and had a wonderful time.

Tomorrow we are going to see Liverpool in its entirity Before I head home.

Much fun had by all concerned - including Cat.

Hope you are all well

Huge hugs

Cracked xxx

My sister is coming over to the UK for a PhD interview in Edinburgh and Mum and I are going to meet up with her in London after. I am so looking forward to it. London will be fun anyhow and it will be so good to see my sister - I have missed her loads and loads. It is a shame she will have to go back after but at least I will see her and that is what counts. She told me that her and her boyfriend went to the beach for a couple of days and that they chilled out - lucky them. Mind you they do work hard and deserve it. But I am just so excited to see her - it is going to be brilliant
Hugs all - hope you are well.

Cracked

A FB led social is being organised for a meet up of nurses and Drs from somewhere I used to work for 3 years. It would be a lot of fun to go and to see everyone, but here is the rub. Everyone will be high grade nurses or likely consultants by now except me who STILL is off sick and not looking like going back any time soon. I am worried they will secretly judge me or even worse feel sorry for me. So do I go and enjoy it but risk that or not. If I dont I will feel sad and like I am letting go of yet another part of me.

Hope you are all well.

Hugs

Cracked