I am trying to censor myself as my thoughts are still racing but I thought I would try and get some of it out of my system by typing what i am really thinking atm, in an effort to get it out of my damn head. Here goes

My handbag keeps falling over because of the diary on top which i relally shoulduot away but i need to write the choir dates in and also i need to wrote that music for my friend which is in my hand badbag and i have two songs to write the drip one and the traffic lights one and the jesus in the sky for tom and then also what else must take my books and i wish the door did not look open all the time i wonder why that is going on and therapy is really difficult and ppl think i am so sorted but i am not and there is all this trauma in my past and i need to get by it and a hug was nice hugs are nice and so are kises but only sometimes what am i going to do about kisses and alsohol tom i need to think about that esp with bloods and the GMC i hate the GMC they are ruining things so much but i hope that ican go bak to the same job and then things will be goodd i just need to be well for long enough

I JUST NEED TO BE WELL

Cracked

A circle is defined by Pi

A blue whale's throat is about the size of a melon

Each year 40 000 tons of extra mass from space is added to our planet

The coast line of Greenland is approximately the same length as the Equator

Durex are working on a condom with a small amount of nitroglycerin (GTN) in the tip to stimulate erection

Human heart valves receive no blood supply meaning if they become infected white blood cells cannot get to the site of infection to fight it

Strawberries are not technically fruit

Eatiing food with vinegar in it increases satiety

The coconut is the largest seed in the world

The dementors in Harry Potter represent depression, which JK Rowling suffered from

Bitter courgettes can give you symptoms of food poisoning due to a toxin they produce

Veins have valves in to stop blood from flowing backwards in them as they dont contract like arteries


That is all for now...

Cracked

Wow have I been busy.

Tuesday I did a recording of a song that I have written for the choir I am in with a friend in a small studio. We have not finished it yet because it is a tad complicated but it is sounding good and I am hoping that the choir guy doesn't hate it! Then I had choir straight after that, the CD will be ready soon so that is cool.

Yesterday I spent most of the day preparing for and doing a gig. This included a violin part that was just put in front of me and an improv. Then went on to an open mic night and performed again.

Today had therapy, which was interesting given how racing my thoughts are but she was really great tho she did not seem real it was weird.

I had an idea for a song about bipolar and traffic lights yesterday so I am going to work on that at some point although I have already started another song and have a friend's words to put to music too.

So busy, racing and a bit on the agitated side but I hope med change kicks in soon.

Hugs to all

Cracked

Your case is very complex and I would advise we refer you = I can't be bothered to assess you myself.

How are you feeling? = I don't really care

And does that thought make sense to you? = You are clearly mad as a hatter

What is your latest lithium level? = I cant be bothered to look it up myself

Don't worry, things won't get worse = Haha, yes they will

I think we should adjust x medication = I am doing it anyway and if you say no you are being uncooperative and/or lack insight

I think we should discuss this with the home treatment team = You are going to be admitted

When is your next CPA meeting? = You are annoying me and I want to see you sweat

How do you feel about that overdose? = Why did you take paracetamol you stupid person?



Just some that come to mind. I am def not anti psych but knowing what Drs think I can imagine this is some of what goes through their heads. Note this thought process is not exclusive to psychiatrists it is a general medical habit, I think born out of stress. But not so fun when you are on the other side of it. Tho I promise there are good, kind and nice Drs out there.

Cracked

PS Feel free to add!

Numbers are really really cool. I love finding patterns in them. I have sent today finding number patterns in whatever I can see. Like my pause on my TV reads 1029, which is important becuase 2+9 is 11 so it is 1011, ie two numbers next to them.

I have a book on codebreaking and numbers based on all the Dan Brown et al stuff, which is fun to do. Although I am rubbish at sudoku! Much better at scrabble.

What else has happened today, not much. It is still freezing for July and I missed church as I did not think I could keep still. Feeling guilty about it but nevermind.

Mind still whizzing but hope will settle down soon.

I hope you are all OK

Cracked