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Brelaxedhunny
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Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (8)
Archives
- July 2018
Bipolar- Help Is On The Way
   Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:53 pm
Bipolar- Sanding the Floors
   Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:48 pm
Bipolar - The Earring Incident
   Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:50 pm
Bipolar- Feeling Like There's No Help
   Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:16 pm
Bipolar- The Downswing- Little Things Help
   Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:32 pm
Bipolar- Jealousy
   Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:52 pm
Bipolar- The Downswing
   Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:19 am

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Bipolar- Help Is On The Way

Permanent Linkby Brelaxedhunny on Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:53 pm

Wow, just wow. The last family doctor I saw really understood my rapid manic depressive thoughts. She contacted my last psychiatrist and felt she offered no help to me. The family doc called me early this morning before work to tell me she read 12 years of my history while at home off work and came to the conclusion I needed one of my vital meds back and she sent them to the pharmacy. I'm waitlisted for a new psych but it felt really good to know a doctor took the time to figure something out for me instead of brushing me off.
Is it difficult for other bipolar patients to get medical help as well?

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Bipolar- Sanding the Floors

Permanent Linkby Brelaxedhunny on Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:48 pm

In this current downswing the depression keeps me in bed but the anxiety has me climbing the walls. A few weeks ago I started sanding my hardwood plank flooring by hand. With a block. People, I'm only 3 planks in because I cant get up most! days. Yesterday I felt well enough to go thrift shopping and I found a belt sander! Now I can sand the floors better and the sound will drown out my thoughts! Sanding away the anxiety.
What do you do, aside from meds, to pull yourself out of the mental gutter?

*I have yet to get enough gumption to sand today.

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Bipolar - The Earring Incident

Permanent Linkby Brelaxedhunny on Mon Jul 16, 2018 9:50 pm

Sun Jul 15, 2018
I lost an earring. While looking for it I tore up my room. Furniture was all out, dirty floor and no earring. Screaming and crying over my beloved earring it was shower time. Only that didn't pick me up either I just sat on the shower floor for over an hour allowing the sound to soothe me. Eventually the water ran cold and I turned it off. Still not ready to come out of the shower I wrapped myself in towels and stayed another half hour.
Composed myself and cleaned the mess of my tornado earring crisis. The bed is broken now but at least that was all... well the bed and some of my dignity.

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Bipolar- Feeling Like There's No Help

Permanent Linkby Brelaxedhunny on Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:16 pm

I live in a very rural area when I drive 30 min to get to a family doctor. There are not any mental health providers near me and I haven't found an in network doctor within 250 miles. Today I saw a new family practitioner and I feel like she actually heard me and knew I was struggling horribly with rapid cycling mania. Still, she wouldn't venture into possibly changing my meds (they've worked for 12 years) and she will speak with the last psychiatrist I saw to collaborate on adding a previous medication back into the mix. Nothing solved today but there is a slight element of possible help... or a doctor that's great at giving the brush off treatment. I told her on my way out that I just want to make it out of this downswing alive.

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Bipolar- The Downswing- Little Things Help

Permanent Linkby Brelaxedhunny on Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:32 pm

Today I had my same depression going on. Truthfully I wouldn't have left my bed if my boyfriend didn't ask to have lunch with me. Forced some mascara onto my eye lashes and became the charm on his arm. I came home and returned to the bed to beat myself up for not having a good time despite the effort.
Staring in the bathroom mirror wondering where my joy is I saw the curling iron. Decided to curl it the way I was taught in a salon by a gay man in a kilt. When I finished and admired my "porn star hair" in the mirror I felt a little flicker of self satisfaction. I look like a sexy hot mess on purpose and it feels good to be noticed so why can't I leave again? Why can't I be around people?

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