| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Biggirlscry/index.html |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:25 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Away Beautiful Demon |
I deleted the app today elusive man and with it the tiny beacon of hope the string that tethered me to you snapped by the pain of a broken heart For me it marks a turning point and notch I doubt you will register the change unaware of my leaving , and neither care for you left months ago in greater absences It took me weeks to come to this point my finger hovering over a self-destruct button too scared to take the step that ends the ride stuck to the false notion I still mean something For I am nothing to you now, a nobody just an inconsequential annoyance moving out and on and away and gone while I cling to the last vestiges of love I feel so sad and empty I can't stand it and even as I lock the doors behind me my thoughts remain and dwell on you sitting in my brain like an unmovable rock Get out, please I need you to get out it isn't fair that I should obsessively pine while you walk away with nary a backward glare Cruel,Cold and confident like a beautiful demon. - Biggirlscry |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:12 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Please, Please destroy me... |
Today I need to be punished today I pushed the envelop and sent it over the edge today I hurt someone, and destroyed their life today I want to feel the just retribution today I need your degradation today I crave your judgement today I want no sympathy today I want your disgust today I want you to hurt me today I need the pain only you can give me today I want you to give me the humiliation I can't seem to give myself today I lay bare my heart and soul and ask you to plunge a sword into it hurt me, wound me, kill me, hate me because I can't seem to do enough of that myself today. I need you to do it for me...... |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:10 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Living in a Borderline Canoe... |
Your emotional world is a tropical afternoon on a sandy beach on a perfect day. You swim close to shore and wade with careful steps into calm waters that lap at your ankles, and warm or cool your toes, immersing yourself as far or as close as you care to tolerate. An idyllic existence that you control with nary a thought for it's ease.... My emotional world is a tippy canoe in a tropical storm in the middle of the ocean. I can't see the shore, I can't do much of anything but hang on for dear life and ride each resounding wave wondering if this one will be my last. I'm terrified, but for the moment resilient, but the longer the storm rages, the weaker I get and if the Coast guard doesn't show up soon, drowning will be bliss. Salvation at last and relief comes !.... so thankful for the rescue friend, see you again tomorrow? .... until one day the Coast Guard gets fed up, and doesn't show up because even heros get tired of braving tropical storms on a regular basis, some lives aren't worth the danger, and that will be the day Yemaya takes her daughter home. Borderline Personality Disorder women aren't just crazy... the struggle is real. |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:07 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | I am a Wild Thing... |
I am a wild thing and you can't control me I may let you pet and pamper me, I may even let you slip a collar round my neck, if I am infatuated and drunk on the drug of love, But don't for a moment delude yourself that you have domesticated me, For I eventually will feel the constraints of your leash and knaw through the ties that bind, and even bite the hand that feeds me, for I will always be the wild thing that needs to run free, that runs in the dark and howls at the moon, and if you treat me well and gain my trust I will come back from my forays in the wild unknown to seek the solace of your binds again, until the next time the darkness calls my name. For I am a wild thing and you can't control me, you can only hold me for as long as I let you. |
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| Author: | Biggirlscry [ Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:06 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Heathcliff, It's me I'm Cathy, I've come home...... |
I have been banished relegated by the Mute button to an inconsequential knat stripped of my agency to garner your attention my voice silenced and sequestered like a seditious whore your whore the one that was and wants to be the one that grovels upon bloodied knees and grasping palms to await your indulgence my raging impotence that was reduced to pleading desperation of the shameless locked away from your perview by your angry silence and rejection for I am but a veiled persistence heating the chill of your heart with inconsistent effort haunting the dead space of your deletion like paranormal activity in the house of your mind The control you wield with your silence noticing and dismissing with nothing but two blue checks days beyond the pleading rant and desperate hope assuring me of your mythological rule. I but a ghost in the machine a haunting spector of times past stuck beyond a blocked wall of digital current waiting for my resurrection from the Hades of your heart. Heathcliff, it's me I'm Cathy I've come home.... |
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