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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Battybat21/fear_that_everyone_thinks_i%CA%B9m_gay_%28hocd%29_b-11603.html

Author:  Battybat21 [ Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:32 pm ]
Blog Subject:  fear that everyone thinks i'm gay (hocd)

i am struggling with this current spike, and that is that everyone thinks i'm gay. for example today i went for a coffee with my friend and her boyfriend. her boyfriend was kinda shy and i was honestly thinking really hard if i look good and if he thinks i'm pretty (not jealousy or anything, i don't even know the boy well, but he was cute lol) and i was embarassed to look him in the eye so i kept looking at my friend instead and my mind kept saying "you kept staring at her like a freak, they both think you are gay, you never had a boyfriend, everyone thinks you are gay". I manage to calm my anxiety and I rarely get any anxiety at all since i have hocd for over 4 years. I still get groinals if i look at a girl's butt or think about a girl, it doesn't even matter who she is, but i learned to accept it and i know that it's not real arousal, because i know that real arousal also happens in your lower stomach and you get excited, not only a tingling in your lady parts. but lately i've just been really paranoid that all of my friends think i'm gay, which i hope they don't. Currently i have a crush but he doesn't really notice me and i'm afraid that even if he did i'd freak out because of my hocd. Ugh...does anyone experience the same??

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