Well, my last blog post was edited. I hope those who were interested enough to read it were still able to make sense of the edited portion.

In seeking to encourage my inner girl to manifest, I’m seriously considering the notion that, if the body does something, the mind will follow. This principle has been borne out in other areas, so why not try it here? With that in mind, I’ve been looking at a few specific activities.

I’ve been thinking of taking up knitting. My initial thought was that, since knitting is a girly activity, it might help my girly side to come out; but I have since learned that you can knit dresses! Whoa! Now, I’m not a transvestite (someone who gets sexually excited by dressing up as a woman), and I’m not planning to walk down Main Street dressed like Heidi Klum. But, wow, I think I would *love* to knit myself a sexy little dress that leaves plenty of thigh exposed and wear it around the house.

I’ve also been looking at learning to walk like a woman and write like a woman, for the same reason: body leads, mind follows. I’m doing some of the walking part already, anyway. That’s where the people I know IRL are going to catch me, I know it. My movements are becoming feminine. It’s only a matter of time. And you know what? I’m ready for it. I don’t care. They’ll think I’m gay; so what? I can live with that.

It’s a little strange, being sexually attracted to women and wanting to be one. I find that when I watch films with dynamic women characters I want to connect with them, with their energy. When I was a confused vanilla male, all I wanted to do was sleep with them; but now, my appreciation of them is so much more nuanced. Yes, they’re still sexy; but often *being* them is more important than *bedding* them.

If you are interested enough to be reading this, then it may interest you to know that my heroes have always, largely, been female. I noticed this years ago. Men always seemed so forbidding, women so much more approachable. For years, the only professional sport I followed was women’s tennis. If I could die and come back as Chrissy Evert, I would waive all further divine favors. Chrissy is a goddess.

It’s funny; but, as life becomes more complex, it becomes more simple. If I tried to wrap my brain around the changes entering my life, I’d crash and burn. But simply accepting them makes things so easy. I suddenly think of the many young boys and girls experiencing gender dysphoria, having to deal with parents and peers and school and all that – and I want to embrace them all, tell them that it gets better, that what seems so all-consuming and critical at this present moment is nothing compared to the freedom that will be theirs when they’ve left all that behind. If there is anything that young people in crisis need to know, from people who can relate to their station in life, it’s the realization that the small window they see is so … meaningless. They just need to get through it, and when they are free they can turn and laugh at those who rejected and condemned them and go on to live in joy.