The emergence of the girl within is a slow process, but one with sudden surprises. Things happen unexpectedly that fill me with joy.

Several days ago, an image came to me suddenly, of a woman driving a sport convertible. It was me. I looked good.

I had another experience this week that I would like to write about, but it is terribly embarrassing. What’s important about it, however, is that it brought home to me, in a way that was beyond reason, the fact that I am not in control. When that realization hit me, I experienced a sudden burst of freedom to be girly. Goddess, I love being girly. And it’s starting to come out naturally. I’m a little concerned about the reactions of others, because, eventually, they’re going to notice. They’ll probably think I’m gay. Well, I guess I can live with that.

Money has been tight recently, what with tax time coming up. I’m expecting to owe this year, so I’m pinching pennies. Fortunately, I live very near where I work; so, instead of eating out, I’ve been coming home for lunch. Yesterday, as I drove home, I was feeling so girly that I couldn’t wait to get home and take off my clothes. Apparently, nudity and my inner girl are connected in my mind, somehow – not terribly surprisingly. I think the conviction is growing that the girl inside is the real me, while the male body is just a mask. Taking off my clothes is mythically the same thing as removing the mask.

I wonder if this will become my way of being a girl. I know I can never truly be a girl, the way I would be if I had been born with two X chromosomes. No *mod edit* to die for. But if I can remove the mask by removing my clothes, so much the better. However the inner girl is set free, it will be a blessing. If it can be that simple, I’ll be so grateful.

I was surprised, not long ago, while I was watching TV. There was an attractive female presenter on the screen, and I suddenly realized that, instead of admiring her charms, I was admiring her clothes.

I’ve been thinking of picking up a feminine pastime, like knitting, to give my inner girl more of an opportunity to gain some ground. I’m not terribly attracted to knitting, but sewing scares the $#%^ out of me. If anyone has a suggestion, I’d welcome it.