| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/AltCtrlDel/index_sid-841ddaaf1d87df797b16dc8c321c0748.html |
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| Author: | AltCtrlDel [ Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:06 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Surrender |
I don't believe in god or religion, so I suppose I surrender to my unconscious. It's been trying to tell me something for a long time, through flash backs, dreams, and images of death. I have tried thinking about it and dealing with it in numerous ways. I keep treading down this spiral of chais and feel like I am being torn a part. So I surrender. Whatever happens...happens. I'm done. |
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| Author: | AltCtrlDel [ Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:17 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Feeling Bad |
I've been so absorbed with traumatic memories and nightmares lately, the dissociation has been very bad. I'll spend hours at a time, doing nothing--just hiding under a blanket or crying. So, I let my therapist know that I'm not doing well and suggested that I register for the partial program. I don't know if I'm sliding backwards, or if I'm moving forward, since I recognized a need and didn't jump to any conclusions. Either way, I start tomorrow. 
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| Author: | AltCtrlDel [ Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:52 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Funny Moment with T |
I was asking questions about dissociation and sharing my experience with daily amnesia. He asked who would be taking over. I wasn't sure. So he asked me to describe how I felt when I realize I've been elsewhere. I described it, then added, "not to sound cliche, but I feel like a different person." Our eyes made contact and we both burst out laughing. How silly that must've sounded knowing I have DID! lol |
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| Author: | AltCtrlDel [ Fri Aug 02, 2013 12:59 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Experiencing Time / Self |
[quote="AltCtrlDel"]Imagine that time is a wave. When the wave hits certain points across the spectrum, I am aware. On other parts of the spectrum, others are aware. If the time wave is long, I have longer gaps of awareness and longer gaps of memory loss. If the wave is short, I have quicker, more frequent gaps. *trigger warning* I live my life in increments of minutes, hours, days, sometimes weeks. But my life is filled with all of these holes. People greet me and say they know me, but I don't know who they are. An assignment is due, and I lost the five days before the assignment so I have to put it together in a rush. I can't make up my mind about anything. Do I pursue cognitive neuroscience or wild life rehabilitation? Or art or astrophysics? Every alt has their own desires and reasons. I don't recognize myself in the mirror or photographs. I don't even know who I am sometimes, or what I want. I don't know how to function like this. This is my every day life.[/quote] |
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| Author: | AltCtrlDel [ Mon Jul 22, 2013 3:14 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Minimizing |
I minimize situations, experiences, feelings, emergencies, and compliments. I understand exaggeration, because some people do that to get their point across. What does minimizing do? It trivializes my life and demeans me as a person, so why do I do this? Is it self-defeating behavior, low self-esteem, introjections, or the like? I just would like to accept an achievement or a compliment without taking away whatever sense of pride I should have. I'm tired of shrugging off all the good things in my life. I deserve better treatment than how I treat myself. |
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