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- October 2021
Much better since T shots stopped
   Mon Oct 11, 2021 12:54 pm

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Doing better

Permanent Linkby Aggie78 on Sun Aug 15, 2021 1:58 pm

Things are actually better. I had no idea those testosterone shots were affecting him like they were. It’s been about a month since he stopped them. He’s a lot less angry and we have a lot fewer “emotional events”.
A year ago, he was definitely struggling with ED. He went to Numale, and that’s when things got out of control. They gave him testosterone shots every week, and encouraged him to “do whatever it takes” to make it happen. Well I was definitely not on board with the weird stuff that he thought would “make it happen” which started an incredible amount of discord. As it was, he still had to use these small special shots, and then would have to give himself another shot later to make it go down. Sex was a disaster, and I was not on board with his plans.
When I finally thought read about this and learned what T shots actually do to guys, it explained a lot. I showed the articles to him and he got it. So it;s been a month and our relationship is better but his ED is worse. He tells me that it just does not work and he feels like half a man, a failure, etc. at least he’s able to talk to me about it.
We have learned that the chemo he was given to cure the lymphoma can cause ED, as well as the peripheral neuropathy he has. We’ve been reading a lot about that, and we are looking forward to the neurologist appointment October 1st. We are hoping the neurologist will figure out exactly what is the cause of his ED and have recommendations for treatment.
It’s a miracle that our marriage survived this last year. Not only did we have a rotten year that nearly did us in, we paid $4,300 for that treatment. I want to bang my head on the wall. I just went along with what he wanted to do, without researching it.

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Re: Doing better

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:58 pm

'special shots'. Let me guess, that stuff you shoot right in the wing-wang? *crosses his legs* Nope I'd rather do without. But that's just me. I mean, look at my avatar- I'm used to feeling like only half a man anyway, ha. I'm not under pressure from anyone to perform so... most of my issues are psychological but still I'm no spring chicken and it does take more work- I think I have some neuropathy going on also- and the Lexapro! Doesn't affect erections so much as it makes orgasms turn into something that's more work than they're worth, it seems. That's been slowly becoming the case, but now that I'm on an SSRI- orgasms are real work now. Oh well- I'd rather be sane.

Hopefully something can be done, if it's mentally affecting him that badly- personally, I rather like having less testosterone than I used to- I feel less sexually frustrated all the time, it's a nice change. Only less- I still am but I'm not quite as crazy as I used to feel.

Yeah I am fine without extra T. I'm hoping he finds himself appreciating some normalcy more than having erections, if no other alternatives pan out. Besides, at some point a guy has to admit he's not in his prime. I admit I struggle with that some- even a guy who sometimes wishes he was a girl pins some of his self-worth on being able to get it up. And you're like, dang I can't last like I used to.... kinda sucks sometimes.

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Re: Doing better

Permanent Linkby Aggie78 on Sat Sep 11, 2021 12:50 am

Snaga, thanks for the reply. I hope you are doing well. We’ve been in this lull which is great for me. Very few blow ups. Yeah, those T shots caused a lot of emotional trauma for both of us. I had no idea. Those clinics sell the guys on “regaining their manhood” and being a young stud again. What they don’t say is that the testosterone makes a man so obnoxious and such a jerk no one wants to be around them.
Maybe he is figuring out that it isn’t worth the destruction it caused. But, another explosion today. I have to do everything right or I’m the a-hole and he feels entitled to yell and say cruel things. I’m just numb to that. One of these days he will just leave and it will be a relief. He tried to apologize tonight, but I’m numb to that too. We are 2 people living in the same house, and that’s all.
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