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Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby Ada on Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:09 pm

The support group for Maladaptive Daydreaming, through no fault of any one member, is very depressing. Mostly people tell stories of being laughed at or dismissed by doctors and psychs. If they have the courage to talk about it. Which I don't. And of not being able to talk to family or friends because it is a "made up" issue that no-one's ever heard of. It's shameful, not to have control of your own brain and time. To be very lost in a world made by someone else. Recent admissions have included Naruto, Hogwarts, Middle Earth and Twenties Hollywood. Even where people are creating their own world, it's so overwhelming it becomes corrosive to Reality.

A few people are aggressive about their own solutions. "Just get a better life and you won't need to daydream." "Just learn to meditate like a Bodhisattva and you won't need to daydream." "Just accept the daydreams, they're inspiring." No. They're wasting my life as surely as if I had a crack habit. There is no rehab when your own brain supplies the crack. I can't get a better life while I'm swallowed up in it. And if I had the willpower to meditate on a beneficially regular basis, I probably wouldn't need to.

Are they a habit that we can train ourselves out of? An addiction that we could 12 step away from? A brain-f-up that needs medication? How can I fix something I don't understand the mode of action of? And by myself.

I keep thinking I have some of the answers. There have been times that I've stopped over the last 20 years. But none of them work consistently enough to say "this is it for me." Different things work at different times. And then I lose 6 weeks of a perfectly good year because nothing works. I don't want this to be my life. And that feeling is one more trigger. It's almost funny.

We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby no-mans-land on Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:21 pm

exposure and response prevention therapy, for further support? (it is used for ocd type of things)
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby yuno on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:25 pm

hello, great post. i've never heard of this condition before. i would love to hear more about it in a future blog post. details. how you experience it. is it like normal dreaming, or halucinatory?

you don't seem to like it very much. i love dreaming myself, but it's not daydreaming. i hope you find your "it".
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby yuno on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:27 pm

oh. now i feel like an idiot. i didn't look at the earlier posts of yours. silly me :)
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby Ada on Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:31 pm

That's OK, yuno. I like dreaming myself. But I like being in control and I don't feel much of that when I daydream. Which may seem silly when it's all in my head. Hard to explain. I hope my other posts helped.

no-mans-land, I'm not sure how that would work. I'm not sure whether I have a fear. Afraid of boredom and negative feelings, perhaps?? And sometimes positive feelings. Not sure how ERP would fit. The wikipedia is VERY interesting, though. It says d-cycloserine can assist with it because-

"These psychotropic responses are related to D-cycloserine's action as a partial agonist of the neuronal NMDA receptor for glutamate"

which is very much my current area of interest. So if this is potentiating ERP, it probably is in the right ballpark. I'd need a private therapist, though. The NHS wouldn't fund it, even if it's available locally.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby no-mans-land on Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:27 pm

[quote="Ada"]I'm not sure whether I have a fear. Afraid of boredom and negative feelings, perhaps??[/quote]
guilt :?: :idea:
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby Ada on Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:35 pm

If I've been guilty for the last 25 years, I must've killed Mother Theresa! Or equivalent badness.

Or, perhaps, it's one of those irrational teenage things that's buried so deep it doesn't look like guilt any more. In which case it is beyond me to figure it out. And I need to get employed enough to afford a decent therapist with a pick ax.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby yuno on Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:04 am

I'm going to compare daydreaming addiction to masturbation/porn addiction. They are both time consuming, it's enjoyable but not productive, it's not easy to quit and there are plenty of triggers. It's also hard to control or suppress the urge to do it when you've been triggered.

This is not helpful, but I feel I'm really close to understanding your view on the matter (although I wouldn't call myself an addict, I simply don't want to have sexual feelings).
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby Paracosm on Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:05 pm

I'm a Maladaptive Daydreamer too and I completely understand the way you feel. I feel so paralyzed, so consumed—by the things IN MY HEAD! Why? If nothing else, shouldn't I be able to control THAT?

I've noticed that while my fantasy world has changed over the years, the same themes have always been there, and they correlate exactly with the things I've always wanted or needed and yet always lacked. So I think it's partially a coping mechanism, but I think it's also a compulsion, since I get urges to daydream, which can't be satisfied until I act out my fantasies, and I often repeat the same scene, conversation, sentence, or single word (yeah, I'm that crazy) over and over again until it "feels just right". I think it may also have something to do with having a very active mind. Everyone has always made fun of me because I've always complained of being bored, and as a result of my boredom, I developed strange habits to keep myself busy, and I guess daydreaming is one of them.

I'm a member over at Wild Minds, and honestly, I don't find it helpful. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my suffering, and I must say that occasionally I burst into laughter when I see someone describing something I always do. It's great for venting and telling sob stories, but that's about it.

@yuno - I think people who don't have MD tend to think it's not a big deal. Most people like daydreaming and find it beneficial, which it is—when you're able to control it! I love my fantasy world, but I absolutely HATE that I need it. The difference between normal daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming, is that with MD, you develop intense attachment to your imaginary "characters", and daydreams become intrusive, interfering with day-to-day life, and wasting time. Everybody fantasizes to some extent, and it can certainly waste time, but for most people it's not a way of life.
Last edited by Paracosm on Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: typo
“Life indeed must always be a compromise between common sense and the ideal, the one abating nothing of its demands, the other accommodating itself to what is practicable and real.”
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Re: Unsupportive support

Permanent Linkby no-mans-land on Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:01 am

[quote="Ada"] [/quote]
there do exist techniques for developing dream control skills.
some of that might be helpful for managing mdd :idea:
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