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OMNICELL
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Ill be single for the rest of my life; I believe maybe
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Loneliness; hitting hard tonight

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:33 am

ITs not easy; non of this! Im depending on God; source energy for a life! I have to admit that I grown allot over the last several years; but for what! whats the purpose, the real purpose; something to believe in; be alive for; music, art, women , friends! I dont know! When will God supply the answer! Ive done the work; I continue to do the work; but God does not seem to be listening! Im trying the best I can; I will continue; but its hard to jump over protective walls; to much of it and I crumble! does God not care! I just want to be taken care of as if I come from a big loving family! but nothing!
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Im I so terrible that God cant at least find a few people in a planet of 7 billion people, to associate with me! Am I so hideous that he cant bring a few people in my direction!
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Ive been working on a soulmate for about 3 years! nothing! non of the people that are coming my way fit the bill! Ive asked God for help with traveling, so I can meet people in other places; but I dont see any roads or paths opening up for me! maybe Im missing something; its like; where is it! " God, do you know what Im looking for, do you know where it is?!
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I feel stuck! alone, lonely, going nowhere! I feel like Im in Disney land with a full night pass; I can ride the rides all night long but no other people are allowed in the area! whats the point!
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Whats the point of all this! being alive, being on this planet! Im not connected to anything or anyone; why! What did I do that God would continue to allow this!
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Ive asked God for the right people; all I get is the wrong people! oK; Im sending out the wrong vibes; ok; I ask God for help! he sends me places to learn how to create the right vibes; Im trying, but its never good enough! Nothing comes my way!
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What am I attracting! Will God help me see positive view of things; I need Gods help internally to change how I view things! is God helping with this!
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How long will this take; Ill be dead before my life shows up! Why bother with all this!
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I feel like I have hope but no life! Nothing makes any sense!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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Comments

Re: Loneliness; hitting hard tonight

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:10 pm

It gets frustrating sometimes, and it's hard to stay patient, I know. I've learned that for me things happen in their own good time.
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Life is short- make of it what you can, while you can.

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Let it go.
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