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- March 2018
some half formed thoughts..
   Thu Mar 22, 2018 7:16 pm

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Permanent Linkby seabreezeblue on Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:16 pm

I've been having flashbacks and remembering things that i've long blocked out for days now.. they started off slowly, by yesterday they were flashing in a lot and today they're just constantly flooding over me..

10 years of blocked out memories all coming back in over a 3 day period is insane to deal with..
I'm walking around and triggering a flashback.. i'm reading through blogs and triggering a flashback.. i'm reading the damn Chinese menu and getting a flashback..

I feel like a sad little kid again and i've got to somehow process all of this enough to get on with my normal life.. I know i can deal with this but wow..
I've actually got some good memories in with the sad and painful as well.. no idea why they'd been blocked out.. maybe i needed to block out everything at the time because all emotion could seriously hurt me..

I wasn't expecting a waterfall of memories.. I was about to write ''a trickle would have been okay'' and then remembered what happens when a dam gets a crack in it.. the water trickles slowly at first.. the cracks get bigger and the water pushes against it..
the dam breaks apart and the water floods in..

I'm now wondering if maybe my flashback a couple of weeks ago was the start of this.. my brain threw out the worst one first and that one was horrible..
lying in bed one night and i felt odd.. not thinking of much but my brain felt wide awake..
I wasn't particularly stressed and was kind of starting to settle and think that i was sleepy.. suddenly; I was swept into an awful awful emotional flashback..
I went right back to when i was small and relived the whole experience.. and there was nothing i could do to stop it..
Last edited by seabreezeblue on Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..

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