i do not know whati am feeling. i have had my session with my T today and i have been left with a feeling of...... a lump in my thraot. My friend it coming over this weekend, the first time i have seen her in over a year and i am sh@tti@g a brick! I am afriad i will brake down, that she will see how broken i am, how frackered i am. I have known her all through uni. She has seen me at a time of life where i didnt even bother to wonder if i shouldnt be or do this or that so i dont know why i should worry now/ She knows me more thatn anyone except my partner. There is that part that is afriad of course, that part that worries she will think WTF who is that freak> where did my friend go?

I am totally over raught....overwelmed if i drank i would get drunk right now