I used to be attracted to the cold. I'd feel cold inside and always desire the winter. But lately, I've just been feeling scorching heat. There's a brutal African sun beating on my back. Yellow burnt grass below my feet, and stretching plains, not a tree in sight. I feel exposed and vulnerable without the trees. I'm starving inside, just hungering, like my survival depends on it, my actual existence. I feel desperate in that sense. And angry. Like it's only a matter of time before I take something, or someone, down.

I felt beaten down again last night. Like a cowering animal. I couldn't look them in the eyes at all. I was disgusted at myself by the time I left. At home, I felt the gold behind my eyes again, and just wanted to lash out at anything, just to try win back the power somehow, because last night I was devoid of any sort of strength. I was just beaten down so hard into the ground. The cheetah in me is just constantly chained, and just gets kicked. And then I can't fight back. When I'm gonna find the courage to strike off the chain, I have no idea, but my blood is just burning red hot lately.

I can't help but speak in metaphor, it's the only way I can express myself nowadays.

- EGD.