Triggers? due to car accident...

Involved in a serious auto-accident when I was 3. Almost died. Went through the windshield and had to have plastic surgery. My first memory is of that little girl sitting on a table while a doctor used scissors to cut her shirt off. I see the doctor attending to me (removing the glass) and I also have a memory of watching from the top of the room down.

I always dismissed this event as not important to my personal development but lately I am thinking this was huge and set the stage for my loss of voice as a young child and future SA that occurred around age 7-8 and future $hit that happened as a teen...

Grew up in a divorced family where I was carried from one family to the other. I flew in airplanes alone around age 7. This experience (flying alone) made me feel like my insides were falling out. The separation from one family and then the other was too much for my little person to bear. My fractured self became even more fractured?

Story To be continued...

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The Map (in progress)

Me-Journalgirl -(ANP) /Observer (ANP) - could be the same as functional girl or we have two host parts? dunno - researches stuff, learns, analyzes, has wisdom and can read people "Sees things" - intuitive

Functionalgirl (ANP)-Almost normal part without emotions, this could be me the host? - Wife & Mother of teens & Worker & Runner & new - likes to cook - stable cool, calm, collected

PSTD-girl - EP out as needed for 3 months after my dad died - When system is in overload (numb and mostly unaware) - This must be an EP? but it's hypo-arousal & not hyper-arousal -my current overwhelmed state looks like this -Sometimes dizzy & nauseous.

Little girl (at least 8 probably younger)(EP) - emotional part (sad needy & depressed) longing for secure attachment -

Little-little girl (3?) (EP) -(may be the same as above little girl)

Other (EP) self-injury & other stuffs I don't like to talk about -

Anger (EP) anger- powerless sometimes - likes to argue

Teengirl (EP) -very empathetic to pain of others - sometimes has an attitude

Protector (EP) - over reacts to things being shared, deletes emails, burns journals etc, makes rules. No texting, no being needy etc, denying? This part can cause a lot of drama -

Journalgirl