I’ve been struggling the last few days. It’s been a long hard road and I survived. I cope quite well most of the time. I don’t know what ‘they’ want. It’s like hearing your neighbours arguing but not being able to make out what they are saying. I usually talk to my daughter and it lifts the ‘pressure’ but she has a little one year old and a new baby so I hesitate to bother her with this. I have been here so many time that I can recognise the signs. I’m not sleeping, can’t face shopping, want to stay home, want to shut everyone out because I don’t think they get this. A part of me wants a drink and another part is having suicidal thoughts. I feel like I’m struggling to keep control, to be good.

More later………..