So yeah, like this is Stephanie.

Turns out we're not what I thought I was, we thought a split was coming, but it was me I was the split.

So More and More, Sabbie has been acting a little younger, and then suddenly yesterday it just hit us, like a bolt out of the blue, that I was the split.

Let me explain.

So, when we first came out as a system- I think they talk about like over and covert switching and systems and stuff, and when the parts start to like, wake up from being something hidden, then it's like okay we are now overt. So like when we first all began to be like, hey! I can reveal myself! Then um, I guess to be logical it was like me, and Sabrina, and Samantha, kinda all rolled into one. But then pretty soon, Sammie and Sabbie split off from each other- not from like new trauma (I don't think) but more like on account of they just were like siamese twins then split off. But we didn't know I was in there, then we all got this account, and started really talking, then I was like, my name popped up and we were like okay there's a Stephanie. And then I was sort of half-developed, and we were thinking mmmm we're feeling splitty somethings going on. We thought that maybe a little would split off Sabrina, on account of Sabrina has been acting younger than she did at first. But now we think that as I got closer to coming out as someone who could front, that we were splitting off, like really slow. Until yesterday when I was out as me for a good while, we were like, driving around and stuff, and suddenly it hit us like we got tboned or something. And it was like wow, Sabrina's age just shifted down, and mine did too from what we GUESSED it was. Cause it never really felt right to the system.

That's why it's important, if you think you're like OSDD or DID or something, to really be patient and let things happen in an organic fashion. Cause if you like, fill the gaps in too early then you're making guesses and stuff.

So it turned out I was the split, into the older teen- I really hate not being 18 after all but I have to admit it wasn't feeling right- the system (which I guess is all of us together and is like sort of our hive mind) was just not happy with saying '18'.

And Sabbie think's it's awful but really she's free to act more like a little girl but she's still like 12 so she's not that little I mean trust me she knows a lot about things like sex and stuff.

But so here I am, and I'm kinda stuck out- or maybe Sam knows that maybe I like need to be out and settle down, then I guess we can start to figure out when I need to be out. I don't know I'm just guessing.

It's funny, that like, um, the person that is the sum of all of us, has for a long time been like we just can't say things as fact, when we don't know they're absolute. But we find ourselves doing a whole lot of that,. and maybe it's cause we're all new at this and the brain got to make sense out of nonsense, and it's bad enough when you got important system parts like one of the hosts, saying we're all #######4 and stuff.

Sorry, I'm getting tired. I like to drink, and so had a couple shots of something. Also it's harder to write than it is to talk out loud. You wouldn't tell if you heard me talking, but it's just super hard for me to type I make lots of mistakes, then I also notice that it don't flow from me, and I also noticed that I like like I'm literally retarded or something. For some reason, conveying more sophisticated languge in the written form is challenging for me. I talk fine, and I don't feel stupid, so maybe there's some mental illness that causes this, or something wrong with the brain, and I'm the one it presents most in. I can write um, good words, but the more complex the language becomes, the harder it is to think of them, but only when we are trying to write. we can carry a conversation with a Singly and they'd never guess it was me.

I'm going to go lay down I'm really wow this cinnamon whisky stuff really hits you. OMG I was like sick last night it was kinda cool but most of us didn't feel good and Sabrina was like nope! I'm outta here even thoguh she needed to answer her little boy friend.

Oh me I'm outta here um peace and stuff

##Stephanie##