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- May 2018
   Tue May 01, 2018 2:48 pm

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Doctors are f***ed

Permanent Linkby voracious_lemon on Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:07 am

Doctor literally want to take the individuals that have futures and wreck that for their own profit (financially and to satisfy their need to ruin others lives). I should have never sought "help." I went from being bright but having severe insomnia and, likely a result of not sleeping, occasional hallucinations. Of course right away they start me on Seroquel to make me depressed, and then put me on antidepressants to make me manic. I had never been manic or severely depressed before "help." After years of experimenting with psychiatric drugs I feel ruined. Whenever I asked to stop these drugs, I got lectured and doctors would refuse and even add drugs at that point. Of course I would just stop cold turkey myself and have horrible withdrawals (including manic/psychotic episodes I probably would not have had ) and end up back on the drugs anyways. I was trapped and being put on increasing doses of heavy antipsychotics when my problems were the drugs in the first place. At the beginning of this year I said "no more" and had my doctor assist me in tapering off clozapine. He did it way too quick and put me on risperdal/lithium. I tapered off risperdal/lithium myself with no problems, and other than having overflowing amounts of anger and rage about the past few years I've been doing better than ever. I know now to not listen to these "professionals" and to assert myself, not go along with something I know will lead nowhere good.

I unfortunately have to see my GP and psychiatrist this week. Not too concerned with the GP because it's just a physical. I go in and say "I wear my seatbelt, do not do drugs, and eat my veggies," let them put a cuff on my arm, and leave. I am still trying to determine if my psychiatrist is dumb or evil. I'm thinking evil considering last time my insomniac ass saw him he basically said "this med isn't going to help you stay asleep, but might make your nightmares worse. Here's the script." The drug he had me take the previous appointment before for sleep also doubled as an antidepressant and screwed with my moods.

Maybe not all doctors are terrible, but in my experience they're either bumbling idiots or spawns of the devil.

The following incidents would not have happened to me if I had never agreed to drugging myself. Most of my #######5 experiences happened in a hospital because at that point I can't do things myself.

-As a result of drug-induced depression I wound up hospitalized where I went from taking 900mg of Seroquel to nothing, no taper. Those ######6 doctors claimed to be ignorant, but I know they're sick and got some sort of pleasure watching me throw up after every single bite of food, not get a wink of sleep for days, throw trays at "ghosts" that weren't there, etc. After 3 days I was clearly dehydrated and probably malnurished as well. If they wanted to act like they're caring professionals they would have at least given me something for nausea or something for sleep. They also said I was wrong and it was not Seroquel withdrawals because that doesn't happen. Soon after I got a small dose of Seroquel I was able to hold food and water down and sleep. After eating, drinking, not vomitting, and sleeping I felt 100%.

-They also tried to kill me by giving me hypothermia. I was overmedicated but my doctor had convinced me I was depressed so he gave me a class of drugs I have never had a good reaction to--antidepressants. I went into a mixed episode and in the ER was stripped down and injected with a high dose of Haldol. I was then sent home with nothing but my Tshirt and PJ pants in a cab at 5am in February. It is cold in New Hampshire in February, especially when you are wearing nothing but a sweat-soaked Tshirt and some pants. I had no keys and no phone, and most of all I was drugged and didn't know my own name. Normally at 5am everyone would be gone, but due to the chaos the night before my mom went into work late and was still home. If she was not, I probably would have passed out on the doorstep instead of on the couch and froze to death.

-Later on I had some unknown issue with my stomach (which I'm not totally convinced was not a result of my psych drugs) and would vomit after eating or drinking, and could not hold my meds down. Cue "relapse" (withdrawal related). I had been to urgent care where they gave me IV fluids and IV zofran and sent me home to check in with my primary, which I did the next day and he gave me something to treat my stomach problem, which did not work. At this point I couldn't have an interaction with another without screaming or sobbing (tends to happen when you're experiencing clozapine withdrawals and can't eat, drink, or sleep) so off to the ER I went complaining of my stomach. I wound up on a psych ward where the medical doctor actually helped me stop puking. I was on a locked unit for a week when all I needed was a script for pantoprazole.

A couple non psych doctor experiences I'm annoyed about: Had staph infection. Was misdiagnosed after doctor looked at it (no tests). School nurse sent me home after I asked for a bandaid at school the next day and wanted me to go back. This was around the time everyone was freaking out over MRSA so that was fun. Also found out I had mild scoliosis (17 degree curve) when I was in 3rd grade, and went to my monitoring appointments and got my X-rays dutifully. Supposedly I was being monitored so they could add a brace if it gets bad. Once I got to bracing point (25 degrees) they just said "eh, you're probably done growing so I'm not going to do anything about it." I grew 6 inches since then and my curve was last measured at 37 degrees, close to the point surgery is recommended. What was the point of those appointments again?

Okay, I'm done for now.

All I saw was the Devil's soul
And it looked a helluva lot like my own
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