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- June 2021
Problems with women
   Mon Jun 14, 2021 12:00 am

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Trusting source energy

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Dec 22, 2017 7:49 pm

I never had a father, but thought I was going to have a father; I was exploited and used and never knew it because I was 2 young! their should be laws that no one can do this to children or have the right to be around children if their going to do this; children have no defense because they have no idea what a predator is. Im mad because my life was waisted an destroyed around these murder's; and let me be perfectly clear; thats what they are; all of them! worthless filth in middle class suits n ties and lies!
I was destroyed by all people I was associating with! They were hiders; liars, murder's! They hide behind the system and murder people in various legal ways! The reason no one does anything about it; the others are murder's as well! I was murdered out of my life.
I did not know they were murder'rs. I never knew; Its not that I wasn't safe; I was never safe; I simply was 2 young to know what was going on around me! I thought I was safe because of my innocence! Im wondering how I can live in a country and this can happen! Its all very strange; all of it!
Source energy Jesus Christ holy one universal; the universe; God; becomes my father! Im now seeking my father for questions and answers!
Im now learning and attempting to start the engines of my guidance system; and my focuser, and live again! This time, things will be different; God will be in charge, God is who I turn to! nothing else is safe; certainly not on this planet!
Biggest problem Ive had! I see the world as murder's an victims! Ive always been on the side of the victim; but the problem is; when I think about them all the time and care, I become poor like them and I parish with them; that was not the idea I had in mind! So, I want to be happy and successful on earth; but then I feel Im ending up with the murdering rich and Im now one of them and I dont want to be pulled into their world; Im not one of them! they are the enemies of God! So, where does that leave me! I end up in a neutral place; I end up with the universe and the universe guides me; Im right in the middle directly below the universe or above the universe! For the fallen and destroyed and the murdering rich; neither are connected to God! and both lead to death! I am connected; I am in the middle; directly pin point in the middle! and Now I know!
I thought their were 2 sides of life! their are three sides off life! Those on the left, those on the right and those in the middle! and those in the middle are of the highest connections! Those on the left, on the outer edge, they will parish! those on the right, on the outer edge, they will parish! I am in the middle connected to God!
I was seduced by the murdering rich and by the dying poor! And when young I was exploited by the rich and the poor! For those who were poor remain poor and with no change and the murdering rich remain with no change!
I am in the middle; and I look up and call out to God! it is my belief that those in the middle receive middle money; money will pour into them to a middle level! Its possible that those in the middle connected to God can have little money and much money; but they are in the middle! You will know them by the middle ground they stand on! You will not feel manipulated or that you are less them to make them more! and you will not feel a sickness of poverty come over you by more time spent with them!
Who is to help the poor! The helping of the poor must be done by those sanctioned by the universe; they are special people! I knew a few! I no a minister of a big church! he's about 30 years old! He has a calling to help the poor! that is what he does! it is not what I do! I was never called to help the poor! I was to put out my energy making love to all the women I can meet and to play drums and make songs and write stories and make pictures! That is my calling! I also have a calling toward the universe; astronomy! What will be done with this; I dont know! this calling or interest in the universe is at the backyard level and has gone no further! its a place of telescopes and observation!
So, being around the murdering rich; they seduce and play any role to make believe they are confident and their way of life is the only way! If I spend time with them or get them alone; the masks come off and then I see them for the betrayers they really are! demonic in nature; they are dangerous!
The rich have protection; those, in a land or country who are delegated to wear shielding and weapons to protect the king and the kings men and horses! The palace guards! The guards do not represent all the people; these guards represent the rich or those with money there are to be protected; The kings guards and armies protect the king and will only protect the common people if the common people make money for the king! This means those who are owned by the king; the king has ownership! The king and its rich are murderous and their guards; these who have been hired to protect the kingdom and its money are biased They do not protect the middle people who worship the universe or the poor! They are group that has been hired to patrol the grounds are specifically implanted to protect those with money! These are murder's also; and they will murder anyone to protect what they've been hired to protect! The poor are exploited by the rich; by the king to make the kings monies!
The poor are not to be saved! For only the universe can save them! the middle people spend their times focused and concentrating on the universe and on God; the rich spend their time focused on fooling the poor into believing they are going to be saved! The poor turn the rich into Gods and by- pass the universe! The poor and rich have a symbiotic relationship! The middle people need neither and fallow neither!
The real middle people are not known or heard of! Their are ver few of them; the real middle people!
Middle people can have little money or a lot of it; but are still middle people! The rich are darkness! and the poor are darkness! Neither will reach out to God for real help; thus the poor we have always and the kingdoms of the world we have always; the rulers! For they stay on earth, on the ground of the earth and are never in heaven!
I am a middle person! and learn to live my life from the perspective of miracles and magic! I believe In Jesus Christ; and I also believe in Santa clause! and I believe in source energy universe! They are the trinity! For God and Santa; they are the same!
Ive seen a simulation of society with the rich and decent middle people and the poor, within sub groups of a society! This can be brought down to the level of three people; I suppose! Ive seen this effect within small recovery groups or stations of groups! communities of groups! Within these communities lie the rich the poor and the middle people! The real middle people are very few; I am one of them; an authentic middle person who worships the universe; I neither worship the rich or the poor! nor do I need either to survive; I have God! and I make no disrespect to the broken poor or the lonely rich! for those who want to defect from the rich or from the poor; the middle is open for them to do so! But it is not my problem or my calling! My focus is on source energy, Santa Clause and Jesus!
The poor can sometimes act as the rich! and cause as much harm! They are the rich with no money or means or resources!
Either way; I am to stay out of all of it! I am to concentrate on source energy in the universe for my instruction! I neither call out to the rich or poor for my instructions; I call out to God! I am called to worship in the center; like a fountain of water spilled over the landslides.
I truly live in the light of darkness; and it stuns me! the world is dark and cold and lonely; I live in a place of light and a place of life for I seek such things; and I am attracting such things!
My interests are in money, women, and having fun! I have callings; and i know of one; the arts!~ I know their is more; but it has not been explored for these other areas were not developed in my childhood because of abuse; neglect abuse!
The women of a kingdom or country; when the country is imbalanced the women are owned and protected by the rich murder's and or the upper level sectors of the kingship; the high law makers; for who owns the women in a land has the power in a land! the general poor surf or worker or those bound to the land do not have the women! When the women are protected by the kings guards the women have a kind of freedom! Laws are enacted by the king to protect the kings property and money; and women are the kings property! and a sense of this protection is washed upon the land! Those who own the women of a land have the power! For the essence of women are sought after; men kill for this essence! A man wants to sleep with a women; that is why he is born! and a women wants to gaze upon the innocent helpless eyes of a baby; and that is why she is born! Men seek a women hips! women seek its results; a baby! Interesting; is it not! Men hold a womens childs DNA of her baby; and it is a mans job to show it off; let her see just how well he holds it!
Women, when under the control of the king; will begin to have a natural imbalanced elitism! The common man can no longer look upon her, gaze at her, touch her, come close to her! speak with her; Its as if such things are above the common man; for she is special now and has special privilege under the kingship; for she is the kings price property; However, the king does not hold women because of their worth; he is a murder; he is the rich; he holds the control of women as a symbol of control! for the filthy rich are the kidnappers of societies! They look with obsession of power and more; and the ability to seduce women to their side; women as a whole group is a great sense of price winning! the winning of women is a price! But women are a nasty sweet price to every living creatures plate!
If I had to chose between steak, lobster or women; Id eat the women! id eat them in one big whole bite! Id swallow them whole and role them around in my stomach and digest them! and then Il spit them out and look for another! Id let that essence sooth through my body; radiating it like the sun!
All things are possible for those who let go of the rich and left and worship source energy in the middle!

Switching gears;
Im getting old ; old age is kinda scary; its Ok; but still! at this point; Im getting old and older!
Women; Im doing better; Im not strong enough for them yet! Im still scared of them! I dont like how Im reacting to beautiful women! I have to work on this! it hurts so much! its o so painful! possibly because most of my life is gone and Ive nothing! Im having to start out as an adolescent in old age! it kind of sucks! Im OK! Its just hurts!
I wanted to start my life at the right age, like everyone else; this did not happen! and if i had not done the severe recovery work and some 20 thousand hours of work; I would not be where Im at now; Im officially waking up and will get a life out of this deal again! I have a long way to do to fully wake up and let go of the past! The problem with the past; It was not something I ever wanted to let go of! I liked my life for a while as a child; It was snuffed out or taken away, or stolen! murdered out of me!
When I let go of the past, I'm letting go of a life that could have been but is no more! its hardship to deal with this; horrible for me; for anyone having to deal with this level of horror! its not fair! non of it! Ive been through so much; why do I have to go through this to!
So, Im slowly dealing with the transition of the past to the present! from the old to a new life and new thinking and new ways and new thoughts; all old thoughts have to go! I have a massive amount of old thoughts un processed of time periods stolen from me and un processed!
Things are not easy, Im just stronger! and Ive earned it! and I feel great about it! Give me more please; so I can feel good and find the thoughts to! and its about not turning into the victim response and allowing my mind to wonder! To feel good, I have to allow God in now; and then bring in good thoughts! I have to learn! its hard! I have learn to care enough how i feel that I direct my thoughts to good thoughts! And their it is! a part of me gains pleasure from thinking anger and hatred of revenge! ITs not helping me but Im used to it! laziness is keeping me down; I wont make a decision; I'm learning. being miserable is not fun! and that is what Im trying to change; and Im learning that I have to have the power to arrange my thoughts to positive things! Im scared; negative thoughts; at least I know where Im at; I cant be let down! Im afraid of the original child positive thoughts; I dont want to be let down! But I cant stay in the negative stuff either! Im stuck in the middle! Im slowly learning how to get back into positive thoughts! or thoughts I want to be apart of and learn to trust and work with source energy to work those thoughts to things.

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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