How's Your Mood Today?

Thought I'd make a general "check up" topic for people to come & express their daily moods. Thought it might be helpful.

Today I'm feeling a lot more normal than I have been over the past few days. I had been pretty severely depressed, even so far as thinking of taking my life. It was very sudden & difficult. But today, I seem to be doing better. I'm more talkative, more optimistic, more.. normal. I'm hoping that after the hypomanic phase, those few days were the only crash I'll have. Well, I'm trying to be optimistic about it. LOL. Though sometimes, when I'm not distracting myself, I can still feel that hole of emptiness, I'm trying very hard to be more happy lately. Hopefully I don't accidently throw myself into hypomania. (Well, not even sure if that would be possible. But I hope not.)

How's everyone else doing today?

Partrly sunny with scattered anxiety.

It was a difficult week as I had to get my medication adjusted and I went into a temporary mixed phase.

I went to the gym a lot this week and ran on the treadmill like a hamster. I also have boxing gloves and a large punching bag at home and they got a lot of use.

I also reccomend this as an outlet. Exercise is good because, unlike medications, it can serve as an immediate fix to problems of anxiety, anger, or furtsration. It also takes the edge off when you are manic and jittery. lt can often be just as good as medications in dealing with negative emotions.

So, I would suggest this to people here who also deal with bipolar sysmptoms. Eating good food can be a help as well. I used to eat a lot of junk food and that is no good. All the sugar and fats can make you feel lethargic and depressed after the initital sugar high wears off.

Interesting question, at the start of the week I thought I was on the up, 5 days of normal, then I started going more and more up. I know I should use my hyperactivity productively but I wasn't, then my exam results came out saying I'd failed both my exams I sat in April (no surprise as I had my first recognized manic/hypermanic episode just before making revision virtually impossible), so this failure took the wind (and energy) out my sails but now I'm hyper without the buzz, no normal or crash like usual just hovering on a not happy agitated level. I can't be sad/upset/disappointed but I can't be happy either, just here kinda numb

So in answer, I don't know!

Good to know that you guys aren't doing all that bad! I'm glad.

I started feeling a bit depressive strange so I took a Xanax, knowing that it has the potential to throw me into hypomania. It's happened a few times so I decided to test it again. I know, I'm a bad girl...

I woke up not feeling too good at all. I woke up alone, nobody to talk to. As the day went by i alternated between feelings of extreme superiority to feelings of complete and utter disgust and anger at absolutely nothing. Started getting drunk at 12 in the afternoon and i have felt slightly stable since (out of xanax, stopped depakote cause that $#%^ was toxic). Strong homicidal and suicidal urges today. I try to control myself. I refrained from doing something very bad today, that i was about to do. I have 2 cuts on my left arm that i incised myself out of unexplainable anger (never cut myself before either). Been playing around with a knife; reminiscing, thinking of what was, what could have been, and what's to come.

Trapped -

I'm so sorry you've been dealing with bad thoughts & urges. & I'm very sorry that you ended up cutting. I can totally understand the feeling however. I used to be a cutter & had suicidal urges a few days ago.

When you're lonely, please feel free to come on here & chat with us about your feelings.

I just feel like i could take on the world. like im alexander the great, but boxed into a cage and unallowed my true potential. im only 20 and i want to be great. Time moves by too slow. Getting a college degree is taking soo long, and then what? i have to work my way out of middle class america (Used to live with my rich father but moved to my mothers in Tampa for university). I have no friends in this town. I'm all alone. I'm trapped. Like my name says i'm trapped in a maze. I have a hunch i've been in a mixed state for a little bit now. I was depressed for months before today. I'm selfish, but at the same time selfless. If you could give out a winning lottery ticket for a billion dollars I would grab it before anyone else will for sure, or i would kill my way to it; that is how i'm selfish. I'm selfless because I would replace myself with that airforce bomber pilot getting gunned downed to death by an anti-aircraft. I want it all or I want none at all. I CANT be satisfied i can't, ive tried. Im going ######6

Trapped -

You seem very manic right now. Your post is distracted & ranting about unrelated topics. I think maybe you should start taking your Depakote again.

Please don't do anything impulsively. Come talk here first.

-- Sun Jul 03, 2011 12:07 am --

As for myself - I'm getting incredibly agitated after taking that Xanax. My mind is starting to race a little bit & I'm desperate to talk to someone. So, don't be surprised if I post relentlessly. I just need an outlet for my thoughts. I feel like I'm about to explode. I tried writing on my own, just free-association but I just don't have the patience for it.

I understand i probably am mixed or manic. My psych is a good doc but likes to play by the rules too much. I've been taking 0.5mg xanax 3 times daily and i go in for a checkup with my psych 2 weeks ago and i guess he thought I was a little hyped up so he decided to prescribe me 1mg klonopin 3x daily ( qhich is equivalent to xanax in mgs) And I am usually pretty busy with school especially for summer classes so i didnt get the klonopin script right away so i started doubling up on xanax. Now they won't let me get my klonopin scipt cause I took too much Xanax. I took the Xanax alot at night to try and sleep because the Depakote was giving me insane restlessness and a very painful stomach. Now I am out of xanax till the 17th (if i can even get that again) And I am Really mad. If i had my script i'd have the composure to scribble through all this ######6 homework and write this paper i need due. Withouth my drugs i'm trapped. I'm trapped in a box, with my full potential being witheld. I just want to be released unto the world, I wouldn't hold back i'd give it everything i've got. So I understand completely what it feels like to not have your xanax

Do you have any sleeping pills you could take for the time being to try to calm you down?