Our partner

new topic, I'm tired of writing on the suicide one

Bipolar Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Tyler

new topic, I'm tired of writing on the suicide one

Postby element » Mon May 02, 2005 3:27 pm

Well, I just thought I'd start a new thread to say this, because I've been writing on the suicide one for quite some time now.

I may not be going to public school next year. I may be homeschooled for one more year, but we will be doing it differently, so I won't get behind as much, and I won't have quite as much to do. So that's sort of good I guess. IT's my decision though. I just don't want to go to school next year. I want to wait until tenth grade. Partially because I don't want to have to do P.E. and dress out and everything. Maybe that sounds silly, but I'm very shy and modest, and I don't want to have to change in front of other girls. I also don't want to have to take the sex education class, that I believe is required (although I'm not sure). SO anyway.

I haven't been having suicidal thoughts in a really long time. I haven't hurt myself either. I think I'm doing a lot better. Maybe I'm finally getting "better" or whatever you want to call it. IDK, but I'm thankful for whatever it is. :) I've still been having some mood swings, but that's okay. They haven't been as bad lately. I'm doing so much better. This is great. :D I have a lot of ideas right now for the summer. I'm gonna clean up my room and re-arrange a little. And I'm gonna buy a few candles to put in my room. And I've also got some plans for today. I'm probalby gonna mow the lawn today, make a few extra bucks, watch smallville, and have a good day. I"m very happy. :D If I can just get over this cold/virus/illness/bad thing then I'll be doing really well!!

I guess that's all of my rambling as for now.

~element :D
element
 


ADVERTISEMENT

Postby Angel » Mon May 02, 2005 4:08 pm

Oh element,

I'm so sorry to hear you won't be taking part in public school next year. Not that I'm saying anything against homeschooling; I know lots of moms here locally that homeschool their children. But for me....I can see so many added benefits to being at public school. course then again the area I live in...public school is still a very positive environment!

I just hate to see you give up on something i know you were excited for previously for the concerns you mentioned! You'll not be alone in your fears of dressing w/ other girls at PE! That's very common. Some girls go to the bathroom and dress.....and you do just find a way to dress in a way that ...well like you put your shirt on in a certain way....not like you are just throwing your self out there for all to see! And not only that...it's not like the girls just stand there oogling each other! You just dress and be done w/ it...everyone focuses on themselves....but at any rate. Your fear is real and I understand it....it's not easy for a lot of people!! You would not be alone in this feeling.

As for sex education; I'm not sure how it's taught now...but when I was in school (and I graduated '93) it was taught as a 2 week course inside of a health class. It's not really as bad as you think! And a lot of the things that might be uncomfortable....you'll find your classmates are great at laughing in certain areas to sort of shrug off that feeling everyone has! Humor makes it easier! And what you are taught is important and valuable!!

You have to do what is right for you, but I hate to see you lose out on it. What has your sister shared w/ you of her experience in public school? How is she doing w/ it?

What social outlet do you get right now? That's what I really hate to see you lose out on....getting to know people....and being comfortable meeting new people...things like the dances, proms, and not just going w/ someone but being in on the planning committees and so many fun social things.....those things may seem unimportant next to an education...but I feel they go hand in hand helping to prepare you later in life. All the group things you do in various classes....teaching you how to work well in a group...even be an effective group leader....that's GREAT experience for a job later in life.

I don't know.....I am not trying to talk you out of homeschooling because I think it's a bad thing to do....nothing of the like...again...you just seemed so looking forward to this fall and I hate to see you give up on it so quickly. I really think it could be a positive and rewarding experience for you both educationally and socially.
Image
Angel
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1660
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 1:44 pm
Local time: Fri Jan 22, 2021 9:40 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby element » Mon May 02, 2005 7:46 pm

Hey Angel, :)

I haven't made a definate decision yet; I'm still thinking about it. If I don't go this year, I will definately go the next year, which will be tenth grade. You see, in our screwed up school district, 8th and 9th grade are at the junior high, and 10th-12th are at the high school. So I may just wait until 10th and go straight to high school.

I'm gonna ask my friend that goes to the junior high, if there are any bathrooms that I could get dressed in. I may go to public school next year, but I'm not sure. My sister says it's more fun than homeschool because you have a lot of friends, and you get to do fun stuff. And I know it would be a good opportunity for me socially, but I may wait to take advantage of the opportunity until tenth grade. I will definately take into consideration all that you have said, though. LIke I said before, I haven't made any final decision.

I don't really have any social outlet other than church right now. I used to go to football games, but football season is over now. I do need more of a social life. I've become somewhat of a computer geek just to have someone to talk to. lol

Thanks for the advice, and for giving me see another viewpoint to consider. I appreciate it. ;) I will definately think about everything that you said, and I'll pray about and talk to my friends, and then I'll make a final decision.

~element
element
 

Postby Angel » Mon May 02, 2005 8:10 pm

Ahh...but see where I live...it's "k-6" in one school (we call that Grade school)...then it's 7-9 in another school (we call that Jr. High school) and then 10-12 are in another school (which we call high school). To me....that was a really great experience...I liked the split!! Now there is talk of downsizing....need to close schools and combine schools and often the talk comes up of putting 6-8 in one school....I personally just don't think of 6 graders being in the same mind set as say an 8th grader! I just always felt that those 7-9th grade years really were a good match age wise! I don't know...change has to come around though doesn't it!
Image
Angel
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1660
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 1:44 pm
Local time: Fri Jan 22, 2021 9:40 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby jims » Tue May 03, 2005 7:27 pm

Yes, you do have a number of things to consider about going to public school next year. I taught many different subjects in grades 7-12, in addition in community college. Today, in many places the kids in 7th and 8th grade are really immature. Very little learning takes place. We had 7-12 in the same building. Almost all discipline problems occured in the 7th and 8th grade. After that I guess the kids changed and learned how to behave in socially acceptable ways.

As for the gym thing, you may want to gather more information. In our school the kids were supposed to shower, but I do not think many did. Somehow they got away with not showering. You might want to find out if there was some way of getting around showering. For many years, especially lately, the kids had the option of just walking around the track or playing ping pong instead of regular gym, so there was no real need to shower. Each school is different. There were some years when certain people did not have to take gym if they were engaged in some sort of outside sport. These are just possibilities, but they are worth looking into.

Based on many of your past posts, I would have thought that going to school might solve many of your bad feelings in that you would be around a lot of people and have many activities to distract you. Being home schooled, you would probably be way ahead of most of the other students. In the public schools today very, very little learning takes place. That's one of the reasons I left as soon as I could.
Good Luck,
Jim S
jims
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 711
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:18 pm
Local time: Fri Jan 22, 2021 8:40 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby element » Tue May 03, 2005 11:46 pm

Thanks Jim, :D

I don't know if I'll have to shower or not, but I refuse to do a group shower. I dont' think they do that at this school though. I'm gonna ask my friend about the dressing out thing. I'm gonna look into this whole public school thing a little more, and then I'll make a decision.

Thanks!! :)

~element
element
 

Postby element » Wed May 04, 2005 3:25 pm

Well, I've made it to Wednesday, and I'm still doing very well!! :D I'm so thankful for this. I've felt better this week than I have in a very long time. Friday evening was when things started to get better. I hope this lasts a long time. I wonder what's making me feel so good. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm thankful for it.

I actually had some time to excersize yesterday. I did those stretches that involve holding your leg up for 1 minute. That felt pretty good. Then I went outside and rode my bike for a while, and then I got on the excersize bench for a little while and worked my legs some more. I'm gonna try to work on my abs and arms a little more this summer. I love excersizing. It's so fun!! I'm gonna try to diet some more. This time I'm gonna try harder to avoid sweets though. Even if they aren't making me gain weight, they aren't good for me. And cheeseburgers are major arterie cloggers. I sound like such a health freak, but who cares? Being healthy is definately a good thing. I feel better mentally and physically!! I'm taking my vitamins and calcium. I'm doing really well!! I'm very excited. I've had so much motivation lately. I've cleaned up a lot in the kitchen. I've done a lot of school work. I'm so happy. I can't wait to clean up my room. I'll probably have to wait until summer though. I'll have a lot more time then, and I'll be able to get rid of my school stuff.

I can't wait to excersize again today!! I love feeling so great!! This is grand. I love life!!!
element
 

Postby jims » Wed May 04, 2005 4:06 pm

You are doing good with the exercise. Keep it up. Pat yourself on the back for doing something good for your brain and your body.
Jim S
jims
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 711
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:18 pm
Local time: Fri Jan 22, 2021 8:40 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Guest » Wed May 04, 2005 5:19 pm

yeah, thanks! :)

Unfortunately I am HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ate a cup of corn flakes for breakfast, with half a cup of skim milk. I ate some cucumbers for lunch, but my stomach hurt 'cuz I was so hungry, so I ate half a piece of low fat chicken. Altogether it was about 270 calories!! And the bad thing is that I am still so hungry. If i knew we were having a low-calorie food for dinner, then I'd eat a peanut butter sandwhich to hold me over, but I have no clue what I'll have for dinner. :? And tonight I may have a cookie or something at church, and that's like a ton of calories.

Sorry, jim. I guess I got carried away with talking about food, but it's hard not to think about it when I'm so hungry, and I'm trying to lose weight. All I can think about is cheeseburgers, cookies, candy bars, pizza, peanut butter sandwhichs, and everything else that I'm not supposed to have. Encouragement would be much appreciated!! Thanks,

~element
Guest
 

hungry, hungry, hungry~

Postby element » Wed May 04, 2005 5:24 pm

well the happy happy happiness, is turning into more of a "I feel okay" thing. I'm scared that I'm gonna get depressed again, but I'm trying not to. I am so hungry though. it's driving me insane. I would kill for a flippin peanut butter sandwhich!! But it has way more calories then I even want to think about. DIETING IS HARD!!!! Please give me some encouragement. THis is HARD. I only weight 124-125, now, and I'm trying to lose down to 120. I'll be okay if I don't lose anymore, but I just really don't want to gain any weight! Man, this is hard. I think the fact that I'm hungry and can't eat is what's starting to get me down. :( I'm trying not to think about it, but I can' t help it. The emptiness that my stomach is experiencing is a constant reminder that I am very hungry. I can't wait until tonight, so I can eat!! I wish I had some gum or something...man I'm so hungry. Gah, I want to eat something. My mom offered me a hamburger on toast, and it killed me to turn it down, but I had to. :roll: Argh!!!! I WANT SOME FOOD!!!!! NOW!!!!

~element
element
 

Next

Return to Bipolar Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests

cron