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Quite obviously bipolar

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Quite obviously bipolar

Postby TheCollective » Thu Oct 10, 2019 5:36 am

So. I am back. Starting my new meds today. Aripripazole. Have been taking citalopram for over a year I think. It was sort of helpful against depression but obviously not against hypomania. Starting to come down from the high and feeling exhausted and like a total ###$ up. I'm ruining my life.
I'm someone who gets hypersexual and who is prone to falling in love with people easily. But I am also married with special needs children. My episodes can be like clockwork, every 2 years at the start of fall I lose control. I get smaller episodes in between, usually the other year start of spring but also randomly in between. I sleep for 3 hours for weeks on end, drink like my life depends on it every night, don't need much food--in fact it makes me nauseated. But I run and I clean and I sing and dance and I function perfectly despite drinking and not sleeping. I feel pretty, confident, strong, finally like I'm becoming who Im sposed to be. It might be what I'm supposed to be - I sure hope it lasts every time - but it's totally not normal for me. I suddenly enjoy pop music which I normally hate. I have DID too and I'm not sure if mania triggers the alter or the alter triggers mania. Equally for being in love. I don't know if being in love triggers mania, or if mania feels like being in love and I project it onto the poor victims. Now that I'm coming down I'm getting restless agitated and so tired. Like pent up energy with an irritated mood. And so much regret. I'm ruining my poor husband and it's only a matter of time before it's going to rub off on my precious children. Lol I feel like I'm at an aa meeting. I'll try not to stop believing I'm BP next time I'm stable.
Last edited by Tyler on Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Please use the swear filter
~TheCollective, F. 31

Dx DID, C-PTSD. Past Dx BPD. Suspect bipolar 2.
Rx citalopram 20 mg, abilify 5 mg.
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Re: Quite obviously bipolar

Postby quietgirl2538 » Thu Oct 10, 2019 4:05 pm

Bipolar, in my experience, is hard. And we have no choice but to live our lives with it in the picture. Always remember that you can begin again with each new day, each new start is a new start...There is always hope even when we don't feel it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Speaking for myself, I do know and understand where you're coming from.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar I
ADD (not the hyperactive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable :D

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Re: Quite obviously bipolar

Postby TheCollective » Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:19 pm

Thank you for your reply quietgirl. And sorry about the swear filter. I don't know why it's off or how I turn it on?
I feel like I would be lost without my husband. I have no clue why this happens.
~TheCollective, F. 31

Dx DID, C-PTSD. Past Dx BPD. Suspect bipolar 2.
Rx citalopram 20 mg, abilify 5 mg.
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TheCollective
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Re: Quite obviously bipolar

Postby quietgirl2538 » Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm

When dealing with the swear filter, it's just a rule thing we enforce. It doesn't mean anything other than that. We want to have our members feel welcome and feel supported and be in a good message board. I use curse words all the time. It catches them and some other words aren't in the filter so they get shown. No problem at all. :D

My husband too, is so good about my illness. Where would I be without him. I think exactly like that too.

I'm hypersexual too. So I know what you mean. Sending hugs if wanted.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Bipolar I
ADD (not the hyperactive kind)
*I take loads of meds, but they keep me stable :D

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quietgirl2538
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Re: Quite obviously bipolar

Postby TheCollective » Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:02 am

Thank you for hugs :)
I don't think my husband will be able to overcome the mess I made (again). Feel like $#%^ to be honest.
~TheCollective, F. 31

Dx DID, C-PTSD. Past Dx BPD. Suspect bipolar 2.
Rx citalopram 20 mg, abilify 5 mg.
User avatar
TheCollective
Consumer 6
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Posts: 799
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:23 pm
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