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I'm Boring Now. Stable, but boring.

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I'm Boring Now. Stable, but boring.

Postby wildchild1226 » Sat Dec 08, 2018 5:28 am

I feel boring now. I know that I need to be on my meds because it helps me not to have these screaming running fits when I get angry and look up to see everyone staring at me with their mouths hanging open. It’s just that before I became “stable.” I was much more outgoing and fun. Now I feel like I’m wrapped in cotton and almost as if I’m trapped inside myself. Sometimes I can’t even carry on a conversation anymore. Antidepressants don’t help me. SSRI’s make me feel better, but they actually make me sort of hypomanic and so my Pdoc won’t prescribe them anymore because he’s afraid I’ll go into full blown mania. The fact is that I like being hypomanic, except I throw wall-eyed fits. My anger tends to get away from me. And I will admit that some of the shenanigans that I pulled when “the switch would flip” as I called it before I was diagnosed and before I knew what hypomania and mania were. I mean at my age, running around out in the yard naked at 2:30 a.m. is not cool, so I know I need to remain compliant, but it’s boring. Does anyone else feel boring and wrapped in cotton, trapped inside like me?

Wildchild1226

My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; But ah my foes and oh, my friends-- it gives a lovely light.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly who returns to greater power than ever.
~Vance Havner~
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Re: I'm Boring Now. Stable, but boring.

Postby quietgirl2538 » Tue Dec 11, 2018 3:44 pm

While stable, I trust my judgement, but while hypo, I feel alive! I definitely do understand how you feel.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Dx: Bipolar I and ADD
Lamictal 300mg
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Vraylar 6 mg
diazepam p.r.n 10 mg twice a day
Elavil (Amitriptylin) 20mg for insomnia
Methylphenidate (Ritalin) 10mg

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