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Making the leap

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Making the leap

Postby turnaround » Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:47 am

Well hello, after a very long absence. Skilsaw, I see you're around. Much high-fiving to you & the other members I haven't rediscovered yet.

Hello also newbies. Last time I was reasonably ill with a mood episode, I swore that I would regularly contribute to this forum & keep doing so once I was fully recovered to dole out advice & support. Unfortunately, I've been extremely remiss in doing so. This isn't entirely a bad thing. For those of you who who are fairly new to the delights and nightmares of bipolar, I have just completed 2 and a half years without a single depressive episode & almost 2 years without a single manic episode (in my case hypomanic...I have type II). So: lesson number 1 is that with good care, good sleep, therapy if you need it & BY TAKING YOUR MEDICATION (this is so important, please take it), the majority of your time can be spent living well. Have hope that your life can be lived well the majority of the time. I've had healthy, human, good times & bad times, none of it BP-related.

So, I'm back on here. Why? Well, after a couple of weeks of feeling decidedly weird, I decided to tell my boss at work that I felt like I was heading for a downer. Autumn usually makes me feel a little high. I love the colours. I wasn't sleeping great & was starting to feel a little too spiritual (this is a big red flag for me). And don't laugh but I was turning straight. And then all of a sudden, it stopped. I am grinding to a halt. I am exhausted. I am intolerant. I was becoming a little remiss in my work. Bearing in mind that my job involves keeping seriously unwell people alive, this was not good. I learned from my last depressive episode (where I held out for far too long & ended up having to check myself in somewhere) that my warning signs must be taken seriously. So I've taken evasive action. I made a huge leap of faith & told my boss that I was becoming unwell. She was cool about everything. So I'm taking a week or two off work to discuss my situation with my GP & psych nurse. I'm going to sleep a LOT. I'm going to practice regular meditation. I'm going to call friends & see them.

What I am simply trying to say is this - if you're newly diagnosed or have been stable for a long time & find that things in your head are taking an unusual turn, please don't ignore it. I ignored it once. It would have killed me, had it not been for my then therapist who practically carried me to the ER. I had the means & the motive then. No further details required, but it was very close. This time, I'm not going to let that happen. Bipolar episodes happen. Right now, I'm heading downwards but I have absolute faith that I have caught it early & I will be okay soon.

So this is the lesson - listen to yourself. Don't ignore your symptoms.

Meds: Depakote, quetiapine
Diagnosis: Bipolar II

"Fasten your seatbelt. It's going to be a bumpy night"
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Re: Making the leap

Postby skilsaw » Thu Nov 08, 2018 2:50 am

Half way through an answer and I hit some wrong key.
The world disappeared. I am so bad at technology and It Hates Me.
I know it Hates Me.

Time to eat some dinner.

Take care

-- Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:53 pm --

The the lost answer popped up and when I posted it, GONE. Totally gone.

-- Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:54 pm --

Greetings back Turnaround.
After a 2 year hiatus I am back.
I'm having a real hard time with life. I need help and offering support to others helps me too.

Great place to hang out. Real friends are even better.
One of the biggest benefits I find here is the understanding I receive from others. People may not have experienced the same thing exactly, but we all struggle and that becomes the foundation to extra acceptance, compassion and empathy towards others.

Take care all

I found the answer that disappeared. What is this? Conspiracy! Aliens interfering in my life.
I found it again. This is so weird
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
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Re: Making the leap

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Nov 09, 2018 11:36 pm

Hi turnaround, it's great "seeing" an old face again. Not that you're old, I just mean that you have been here on the Bipolar forum in the past and you're back again. Maybe I just phrased it wrong too. But what I mean is that it's great having you here. I just came out of a depressive episode that did end, but I was ready to call the pdoc to give me more medicine. I know what you mean. You gotta catch it early, these mood swings. I'm so glad you got time off. I don't work a 9 to 5 job but I keep busy with children and home things, and many other things too. So I don't ask for time off from a boss, but I have asked the kids and my husband to help out more or to just let me be when my depression hits me hard. Such is my life, at times.

@Skilsaw, I'm sorry you're having a real hard time with life. Just wanted to share this in case it helps you. Do you blog? I blog, but it's mostly a mood diary. I would like to write more but I can't seem to get creative when I start my blog. It doesn't matter, though. It helps me and that's all that matters.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Dx: Bipolar I and ADD
Lamictal 300mg
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Vraylar 6 mg
diazepam p.r.n 10 mg twice a day
Elavil (Amitriptylin) 20mg for insomnia
Methylphenidate (Ritalin) 10mg

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