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why not enlightened?

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why not enlightened?

Postby Not enlightened » Thu Jul 04, 2013 2:00 am

A feature of my mania and hypo mania is extreme blissful sensations and thoughts of spirituality, each time leading me to believe I am becoming enlightened. It is not true though as it always devolves into chaos. It can be, in the beginning, very calm, serene, feelings of love and delight.

A former practitioner of transcendental meditation I've clearly seen that meditation can trigger this, that even thinking about it can start me down the manic path.

For those so inclined, read about Gopi Krishna's book Living With Kundalini. I definitely have what is called kundalini manifestations, and it is not a good thing.

I am struck with the similarities of naturally occurring kundalini manifestations and the effects of modern psyche drugs. The body has certain capabilities and from my experience there are numerous ways to activate these capabilities.

All I ever wanted was peace and that desire has been my undoing.
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby skilsaw » Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:02 am

Hi Not.
I just spent a couple hours learning all about Kundalini on the internet and writing you a deep and profound (little joke) reply. Then the gremlins who inhabit my computer ate it. (another joke)

You sound as if you have been through the fire. "... believe I am becoming enlightened. It is not true though as it always devolves into chaos..." You made a sincere commitment to seek the truth . "...All I ever wanted was peace and that desire has been my undoing..." and it has not worked out for you.

I just read your "Bipolar?" post. At your age the american dream is looking forward to retirement. You haven't got that.

But you survived and inside that wretched life, you have wisdom. Hang in there! You are not alone. There are dozens of people on the forum who have bipolar disorder who are struggling to survive. We have each other.

Post to the forum every day! Tell us your struggles. your ups and downs. We want to hear from you, even if all we can do is listen.

Take care.

(Now if this post disappears, I'll scream!)
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby Not enlightened » Sun Jul 07, 2013 9:58 pm

Hi skillsaw,

I mentioned kundalini and that specific book because of Gopi Krishna's detailed descriptions of fourteen years of hellish episodes our medicine would call psychosis. At the end he attained a stable state where he was aware of two co-existing states of awareness, normal awareness and at the same time a perception of the "I" component of his being as everywhere in the environment around him. He lived the rest of his life with this universal awareness and engaged in social work and attempting to get mainstream science to study this state.

If you read any of this book you will be taken with the similarities of his experience to bipolar disorder, except that most of us never reach the serene and stable state he lived in after his fourteen years of agony.

There is so much bull and film flummery around the topics of yoga and enlightenment it has all become very distasteful to me. Charlatans abound, leaving misery in their wake as they go through society in pursuit of profit.

Gopi Krishna was exceptional in his ordinariness and constantly had to tell people he was not a god, saint, guru or teacher, just a man who had been fortunate in attaining a higher level of perception. People still refer to him as a saint and say silly things about him, not being able to understand the simplicity of his story and message.

He thought that maybe if science could uncover the secrets of this state the state could be made accessible to others and good would result for the world as those who see "I" everywhere can't help but have greater compassion for others. He did not try to teach others how to obtain this state because he was so aware of the dangers; yoga does not just give a little happiness etc., but leads to a total transformation of the psyche and often leaves people completely divorced from normal reality- it can be a very touchy thing.

Krishna himself had decided to abandon the practice of meditation and sat down for a final practice on the day kundalini became unleashed in him. He happened to notice a sensation at the base of his spine and put his attention on it; the sensation became a silvery light running up his spine to the crown of his head and unleashing a torrent of personality shattering experiences and sensations. It is interesting to read about what happened to him a for me he is the only sane voice of the many speaking on the subject. There have been so many advocates of dangerous practices to arise over the last century or
so. You might be surprised to learn of the high rate of suicides and psychosis in the transcendental meditation movement. The same is true of other pop culture enlightenment movements and cults.
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby skilsaw » Mon Jul 08, 2013 12:54 am

In your first message, You speak of "chaos" and speak of Kundalini manifestations as "...not a good thing..." In your next message, you conclude "...The same is true of other pop culture enlightenment movements and cults."

When I googled Kundalini manifestations, I found amazing videos of people posessed. I also found cross references to what is known as "The Toronto Revival" or "The Toronto Blessing". Charismatic Christians have introduced theatrics similar to Kundalini manifestations into their worship and called it "...The work of the Holy Spirit..." or being "...Spirit Filled..." As you said, what is "...in the beginning, very calm, serene, feelings of love and delight." can descend into chaos.

Yoga and enlightenment do not have exclusive dominion over flim flammory.
It is not always possible to make someone's discomfort go away.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is resist the urge to fix it and instead just say, "You, too?"
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby Not enlightened » Mon Jul 08, 2013 1:10 am

Yes, flim flam certainly isn't restricted to yoga. It seems a staple wherever religious seekers may be found.

I chuckled at your statement about the "possessed". I have at different times been afflicted by those spontaneous movements which I am sure would have looked like possession to anyone watching had there been anyone to see. Oddly enough while it was happening I felt very calm and sometimes even refreshed by it. I don't want it to happen again though.
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby Not enlightened » Mon Jul 08, 2013 2:28 am

Whoa! After looking up your search terms I am shocked by what I saw. The movements I experienced always happened when falling asleep or during the night when they would wake me up. That Toronto Blessing stuff looks like mood making, a sort of giving into a mass consensus that something like that is desirable and supposed to happen. That mood making often occurs in new age circles also.

Real kriyas are more subdued, with movements interspersed with spontaneous yoga poses.


It is all bizarre though.
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Re: why not enlightened?

Postby Not enlightened » Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:21 am

Wow, skillsaw. I looked up some more of that revival stuff and I feel very uncomfortable. My last job was at a company with people involved in that stuff and I did not realize what they were up to. I felt very out of place just due to how they tried to steer conversation.
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